Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Say hello to my little excuse

I don’t have to eat my vegetables anymore.

Before I had Graham I was justifiably proud of, and perhaps even a little smug about, my healthy eating habits. I loaded up on fresh vegetables and fruit, chomping away with gusto, all the while relishing not so much the taste, I now realize, as the sweet feeling of virtue that accompanied every bite.

Today my refrigerator boasts more fresh fruits and vegetables than ever and I rarely eat any of it: I figure I don’t have to because, as it turns out, watching Graham eat them (albeit not without his favorite accompaniment) gives me the same smugly virtuous high I once got from eating them myself.

Oh how I love my little excuse.


It’s a given that I took way better care of myself before I had Graham: if you’re a parent you probably don’t consider this an earth-shattering revelation.

But the upside to having less time to lavish on my personal appearance is that I also have an excuse to skip all the healthy habits that are a bit of a chore.

I mean, why do I need to work out when he runs circles around me at the park? I feel exhausted just watching him, so I’m sure that counts for something.

And who cares how long it’s been since my last medical check-up as long as he’s visiting the doctor and getting his regularly -scheduled clean bill of health?

The more I think about it, the more I realize there are a million and one virtuous habits from which I really deserve a break.

Graham’s crib sheets (yes crib sheets) are changed at least every 10 days or so: by my calculations that means his parents’ bed sheets can stay filthy for at least twice as long.

Graham’s teeth are brushed nightly. This is an ordeal that surely buys me a free pass from flossing my own.

Graham always has a sweater when he’s cold and appropriate footwear. I am therefore allowed to wear stilettos in rainstorms and cute sleeveless tops in sub-zero temperatures.

Graham’s clothes are always clean and fresh…so mine don’t have to be.

Once I get started on the excuses I could go on for hours, really.

Who knew parenthood could be so liberating?

**Seriously though - I've got a recipe for cookies that are virtuous AND yummy up over at Don Mills Diva Recipes and Reviews. Check it out - no excuses necessary!**

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62 comments:

themommykelly said...

I agree, parenting is liberating, but sometimes gaining that freedom is accompanied by the steep cost of one's sanity.

Letting go of one's previous ways is not always easy, but indeed, getting over those oh-so-nutty obessions that I had before having children makes for a much more peaceful existence.

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Amen!!

Love this!

Hallie :)

Sass E-mum said...

So happy to see that Graham is eating his veggies with sooo much ketchup. How reassuring!

Jobthingy said...

im with ya babe. i can justify anything since having Speedy

Laura said...

We are TOTALLY on the same page here!!! TOTALLY!

Kathryn said...

That sounds eerily familiar. ;)

Girl said...

Dude, floss your teeth and we can forgive everything else, snort.

I feel ya!

Brittany said...

ha ha ha. This is ALL too familiar. I actually can't tell you when I changed my sheets last.... Ok, I can... it was about 10 days ago. Need to get on that!

Angie @ KEEP BELIEVING said...

So based on this rationale, this would be why I eat so many salads a week and almost nothing out of a can or my box - my kids are doing that for me!

KEEP BELIEVING

Marmarbug said...

You said it girl!!!!

Krystyn said...

So true...and what about showering and shaving your legs?

OHmommy said...

Yes, how very true. :)

MommyK said...

Wait until he's old enough to call you out though. I had to curtail my candy habit after my son asked for some and I explained that it's bad for his teeth and won't help him grow. He asked, "So why do you eat it, Mommy?"

Good point! So now I sneak my candy when he's not around and eat my veggies when he is.

But the exercise thing....yeah, I'll get right on that.

lattemommy said...

So that's why my good habits went to hell in a handbasket! Thanks for letting me know that I'm getting it all vicariously through my kids. I'll stop fretting about the fact that I don't floss. (I'm telling my dentist that on my next visit, btw, in case you get a call from him!)

MamaWise said...

I have to echo what everyone else has said... this is exactly how I feel and how I justify most of the things that I do (or don't do). Definitely nice to have an excuse! :)

Mental P Mama said...

Oh the vicarious living that children provide...and those crib sheet changes are strenuous as I recall--even more exercise. You are doing fine my dear, keep it up!

Aunt Becky said...

I am literally wiping tears out of my eyes.

You got me laughing very hard. Thanks, dude.

Nowheymama said...

I really like your logic.

kittenpie said...

Yes. yes. And yes.

Let me just say that it's a good thing that I have such dry skin and hair that it's atually BEST if I don't shower every day, lest I turn all scaly and straw-headed...

Mandy said...

It's so true. I was just thinking the other day that I so rarely do anything for me (like eat breakfast, exercise) because I'm too busy running after my two kids, giving them breakfast, having playdates.

Motherhood for Dummies said...

it is soooo true. But I am bad with veggies for my Lucy. I have a hard time looking at pees and thinking "she should eat this" I hate veggies and have a hard time giving her something I think is gross.... but I have been trying to force myself to get over it :)

Mighty Morphin' Mama said...

Hee hee hee! Hilarious. Terrific excuses...

I hated veggies until I had kids. My dad never ate them and my mom is convinced that is why I didn't like them either.
So when I had kids I chose to start eating them to model good eating habits. And eat whole grains as opposed to white bread. Now I can't imagine going back. Though I still hate carrots, and cooked veggies make me gag while preggo.
My kids however, eat so much produce that there is rarely any left over for me.

caramama said...

You are brilliant! Pure genius!

Although, I've been eating healthier since having the child, because as long as we are cooking her good meals, I ought to eat it too.

Misplaced Country Girl said...

This really drives home the point that I need to have children. If you do these things without children, people just assume you're a lazy slob with bad eating habits. (Not that I would know.)

Misplaced Country Girl said...

This really drives home the point that I need to have children. If you do these things without children, people just assume you're a lazy slob with bad eating habits. (Not that I would know.)

Melisa said...

I'm with ya!

I keep telling myself that I'll do *insert whatever healthy habit here* after the kids are grown.

At the same time, I feel guilty. We're supposed to take care of ourselves to be there for them, right?

Mayberry said...

I like the way you think!

Vered said...

This was a funny read, but I think it's actually quite common to live through our kids and to get a lot of satisfaction through them. I used to be TERRIBLE at gymnastics as a kid, and my daughters are very talented at it. The pleasure I get watching them on the bars... the sense of accomplishment is definitely there, even though it is them doing it and not me!

Dawn said...

I do these things to! ;)

Melody said...

I'm so with you on this one. I read the whole thing nodding in agreement.

You are an amazing writer!!

zoeyjane said...

i have nothing to add except that i completely agree with everything that you just said. i was a hard core vegetarian before getting knocked up - now mcdonalds and starbucks are my oasises.

Helen E.M. Wright said...

Sounds very familiar!! I make sure my husband and son have a great diet...now why don't I?!?!?

Damselfly said...

I like the way you think! :)

Shannon said...

I agree - my sheets are rarely changed, it's truly disgusting actually. The kids always have fresh ones.

The eating for me has actually gotten better though. If I try to sneak a treat before the kids are asleep at night, they are ALL over me going nuts b/c they want some too. I gave up so I just end up eating really healthy so they will copy me and do it. I guess in the end its a win win situation, but occasionally after everyone is sound asleep late at night I will grab my chips or chocolate :-)

Suburbia said...

All sounds SOOOO familliar!
Thanks for visiting mine.

Heather said...

This sounds like me...wait! Did I write this?

Tracey said...

Getting my kids to eat healthy makes me healthy by association. Didn't you read about that phenomenom in the Mom Handbook?

kgirl said...

I especiall like the clean sheet calculation.

Beth from the Funny Farm said...

Oh.. you need to take care of yourself better! Don't do yourself wrong!

Life As I Know It said...

Makes perfect sense to me!

Tranny Head said...

Amen to this post, honey. Ever since hubby left for Iraq and I was left alone with my kiddo, LOTS of things have gone to hell fast. Like eating meals at regular times? Today I ate two meals neither at an appropriate meal-time hour. Breakfast was procured at Panera Bread and dunch/linner was purchased at a Chipotle around 4:00 pm. It's pathetic.

But at least I'm wearing makeup!

Erin said...

I hear you! Just think of all the things I no longer have to worry about for me. THanks so much!

Thanks for all of your comments as well.

LaskiGal said...

Oh, look how many of us can completely relate . . .

FREEDOM!!! Who would've thought?

Danielle said...

This is SO true!! I neglect ALL of these things.

krissy said...

Liberating is a great way to call parenting. I call it crazy whack!

flutter said...

I so want to smooch him

La La said...

I love that he eats everything with ketchup!

He's so cute!

April said...

Oh, goody! It's on the Internet now. Therefore, it must be TRUE!! :)

JCK said...

Aaah...yes, the ketchup!

The Rambling Housewife said...

You're right on with this one!

(Especially the doctors appointments--I'm always on time with my kids' check-ups--I can't remember the last time I went to the doctor for myself!)

Kristi said...

HA! Love this. There are just so many hours in the day, you know, so if you don't have time to change your sheets or eat your cauliflower, it's all for the greater good of your son!

Stephanie said...

Oh the truth that is in this post. I was wondering if it was only me. My poor legs are no longer silky smooth anymore...but I bathe my child every night. Does that count?

Susiewearsthepants said...

I have sacrificed fruit for my kids. I buy fruit every week, but never eat ANY of it. Grapes, nectarines, oranges, strawberries. I LIKE fruit, I just figure they need it worse than I do.

Nap Warden said...

Well there's some logic for you!

Beth said...

all of this rings so true with me, down to the brushing the teeth. It's gotten way better, but you are right, I LOVE having a good excuse~

Jen M. said...

Ahhhh, parenthood. I totally believe in its powers to transform us into the slackers we were meant to be and our children into their best selves

angie said...

My favorite free pass is the skipping flossing thing. With 5 kids, that's a lot of passes, and my dentist cringes every time I'm honest about how frequently I actually do floss.

Good & Crazy said...

Heading over to check out your recipe reviews!

Elaine A. said...

It's amazing how much stuff I let slide now that I never would have before kids. I always swore I wouldn't let my master bath be full of kids bath toys and you will never guess what's in there... ; )

Pregnantly Plump said...

I definitely agree with that. The biggest thing to go since having Little Elvis has been my fashion sense. He looks extremely cute in a diaper, but he's just as handsome in the cute outfits my mom keeps buying him. Since he looks so cute, I figure people will look at him instead of me. That means I don't have to wear make-up or actually do something to my hair... right?
Thanks for visiting my blog, by the way!! Nice to meet you.

Jen said...

Well you are doing better than me actually because I rarely wash any of the sheets in my house. In my defense, my son has a bunkbed and it is really hard to put them back on.

Jaina said...

Haha, I wish I had such a good excuse!