Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Eddie Haskell in the house

"Damnit!" Graham blurted out last night when he spilled his orange juice.

I'd never heard him say that before and I was startled. It's pretty minor as far as swear words go, but not exactly what you expect to hear come out of your two-year-old's mouth.

"That's not really the nicest thing to say," I cautioned him, mopping up the mess. "It's better to just say something like shoot or darn."

"Sorry Mama, " Graham said. "I say shoot Mama."

"That's better sweetie," I said just a little smugly, feeling never more like June Cleaver. "Would you like some more juice?"

"No thank you Mama."

Could he BE any more polite? I smiled serenely and tousled his hair.

"Mama?"

"Yes Graham?"

"How 'bout a glass of wine?"

Damnit.

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82 comments:

Omaha Mama said...

Hi-larious! He must have been stressed, what with the swearing and the drinking. :-)

OHmommy said...

That seriously is the funniest thing out of a two year's mouth...

How about some wine, Mama.

He rocks!

Jaina said...

Haha, and what kind does he like? ;) Too funny.

Backpacking Dad said...

Hm. My daughter is always the one offering whine. Which I decline.

LunaNik said...

Teeheehee! How cute is he?!

My two year old recently repeated my most used cuss word/phrase recently...

Her sister turned off the tv in the middle of her favorite dvd and she said...

jesus f*cking christ!

As you can imagine, I haven't said that since.

Laura said...

Too funny and cute!

My eldest started saying "ucking elle"....wash my mouth out with soap!!!

beth said...

Too funny!

Those perfect mom moments never last for long do they?

Rachel said...

Dude, leave it to our kids to bring us hurtling back down to earth.
That is so stinking funny. :-)

David said...

That is funny!
At least he didn't ask for a smoke with his wine.

WORKING MOM said...

I love it! Tonite my son wanted to know what wine in his hot chocolate would taste like...Hmmmm. Now there's a thought.

kittenpie said...

Ours, when playing hostess at tea parties and such, includes beer in her list of beverage offerings. Of course, she also seems to the "what the heck" is a bad word, which suits me fine, excpet when she takes me to task for saying it. yes, she's getting into the age of Rules now. Whee.

Are You Serious! said...

♡ How funny! Very cute how he apologized! :)

chelle said...

hehehe Where do they get these things? *whistling innocently*

Momma said...

How could you not absolutely be in love with that little boy? He will give you many more Graham-isms over the years. Take my advice: write them down. I've forgotten a lot of the ones my kids used to say...D

Lori said...

Don't you wish you had a video camera running 24/7?? (With the option of not showing some moments to the grandparents...) He's adorable!

Jen said...

hello, you posted on my site so I thought I would check you out. I love what I am reading. Don't kids say the lovest things. My oldest went through the "F" word phase for a few days. I was really glad when it was over.

Nowheymama said...

HA! Thanks, I needed a laugh tonight!

Brittany said...

If Graham is getting wine, then I want some too!!! :)

Helen E.M. Wright said...

been there...still doing that! and he's four! at two we had a problem with the s-word, also in the correct context. not good for where we are living! luckily, we got him out of the habit of saying it just before he started to go to a preschool program at a southern Baptist church. we already had enough problems going into the place, not being Baptist or a southerner...we didn't need to add the swearing!

sky girl said...

Thanks for the laugh Kel. Too funny.

MommyTime said...

Ahahahah! My little one also came up with dammit at that age. Fortunately, it was a very short-lived phase. He's never requested wine, although once he did tell me, as I leaned over to tuck him in bed during a big dinner party we were having, "You smell like wine, Mama." Nice.

Melissa said...

I'm with Graham, bring on the wine!

Vered said...

Thank you for the laugh. After a long day with the kids constantly fighting and bickering, I needed that.

Laski said...

I just have to say, you handled that so well. Cool. Calm. Perfection.

And the wine. At least he didn't ask for beer :)

He's a classy kiddo, that one.

And those manners . . . darling . . .

The Bimbo said...

hahahahah if you can't beat them... join 'em. he's so cute!

Good & Crazy said...

I was worried for a minute there with the 'shoot mama' part...

Mine all went through a swearing phase around 2 as well. I wonder where they got it....

Angella said...

I love it!

And wine.

*Off to pour a glass*

Leanne said...

So, did you ask whether he liked red or white?

Tracey said...

Lil terd. :) Why is it so funny when little kids swear? I don't know why, but I love it...

Dawn said...

That is so funny!

Magpie said...

Wait, did he want some, or was he offering it to you??

flutter said...

Oh I would LOVE to hear what he'd say if he spilled a glass of wine!

Jobthingy said...

HA! i love it

Elaine A. said...

Who have you been letting him hang out with? Oh - you! HA!

Love this! ; )

Kellan said...

You are NO BETTER A MOTHER THAN I AM - HA!!! When Courtney and Chloe were little - like 2 1/2 one of them said damnit and the other said, "Mama, Courtney said that damnit word." Little Billy went to school with the 3 S's - Shit, Shut-up and Stupid - Shit he got from me and the other two from the twins. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

Thanks for your supportive and sweet comment this evening - I soooo appreciate it. And, you can buy me that drink and I will buy you one as well - we will raise our glasses to "The Loser-est Mom's Ever!" - well, that at least applies to me.

Take care and see you soon - Kellan

Corey~living and loving said...

THANK YOU for the really great giggle just now. :) love you for it!

April said...

LOL. Motherhood: one step forward, 2 steps back!

Jacki said...

LOL....I remember the first curse word Emma said....she was putting a puzzle together and couldn't find where one piece went. So she said "oh, s---!"

John-Michael said...

Absolutely PERFECT! [huge smile] Don'tcha just love 'em!?

Thank you for transforming an enthusiasm-lacking morning into a pleasant moment.

Lovingly ...

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

I read on Kellan's site that you WANT a mean commenter. For a small price (a PRADA bag perhaps?) I will come over here once a week and rip you a new one.

Whatcha think?

Hallie :)

Beth (A Mom's Life) said...

So does her prefer white or red? I'm not exactly sure what goes with mac n cheese or nuggets.

Lisa said...

That is funny--I had to read it twice to be sure I got it right.
Love it!

Kathryn said...

Wow. They really do grow up fast, don't they? ;)

Beth from the Funny Farm said...

At least he didn't specify RED or WHITE wine.

Anonymous said...

He is growing up so fast. What they learn keep the faith he is still your baby.

Mara
http://24stepstogo.blogspot.com/

Caroline said...

well done!

Tranny Head said...

a boy after my own heart . . .

Nothing makes me happier than cursing and drinking!

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Wait until he tries that in a restaurant!

Mandy said...

that's the funniest thing i've read in a while!

Queen of My Domain said...

Ha ha ha, that is to funny about the wine. I've heard mine say dammit before also. Now they tend to say things a little less offensive. At least in front of me.

www.startswithanx.com said...

Does he prefer white or red? That's the real issue here. :)

Kami said...

Oh my! I think he's got his mom's comedic talent!

Too funny!

Motherhood for Dummies said...

oh man.. swearing, drinking? Um... blaming it on Sesame Street... yea.... Sesame Street :)

Mental P Mama said...

How 'bout a damn glass of wine? That is the funniest thing I've read all day. At least he's got the proper use of it down....

Mom101 said...

Fabulous. My daughter said dammit once at two and you'll be happy to hear it never came up again.

She still asks for wine though. Eh, I give it to her.

Heather said...

Cussing and drinking at two? Good. Get it out of the way when he's young and his teenage years will be a breeze.

Beth said...

My sons goes around telling people that he likes beer and coffee - What?! I swear, he had a sip of my decaf cooler and he's hooked.

He might have tasted beer too, when I wasn't looking - sneaky kid~

IRISHKAT said...

We definitely can't get him and my son together. I see trouble in flashing lights!!

Ali said...

ahaha. he is awesome!

Urban Panther said...

You should try the culture shock of moving to Quebec and listening to what comes out of the mouths of babes! Apparently, our English swear words have about as much impact to the French as saying "Holy Crumpets!" Actually, no, it would have to be just "Crumpets" because the 'Holy' part would get your mouth washed out with soap. *smile*

Sass E-mum said...

Well, isn't that the strangest thing. Wonder where he picked that up. I'd have a word with his daycare if I were you;)

Erin said...

That is too funny! Polite, indeed.

Karen said...

Bwahaha! So much for the June Cleaver moment.

KathyLikesPink said...

Oh my gosh, TOO CUTE!

E said...

My angel once said, in the grocery line, in a particularly loud and darling shout, when I was buying four bottles of wine for a dinner party, (and we are mainly tea drinkers besides),
Oh Mommy, wine again!

Just wait there is lots more on the way.....

Indy said...

Well trained. I love it.

motherbumper said...

Now that's my kind of boy.

Ms. Porter said...

Ha! Love this one!

Susiewearsthepants said...

LOL-I remember when Keri was in CHRISTIAN daycare and asked the teacher, "What the hell is that?". When the teacher told me about it later I was so mortified. I did what any self respecting divorced, single mother would do....I blamed it on her father.

Cee said...

That's just too funny!

Life As I Know It said...

Aw, how cute is he?

Damn, I wish my kids would offer me wine ;)

The Boyds Family said...

Bwahahahah!!! He is such a cutie!

caramama said...

Too funny!!! I love it!

the new girl said...

Oh, PERFECT.

Great story.

kristi said...

LOL.......too funny.

Valarie said...

Oh, that is priceless!!

SP said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving a message for my SIL. I've been playing in your archives and I think I'm hooked.

Amanda said...

Weeeell, he could have specified the particular variety...

Stacey said...

Eddie Haskell! I love him. When I first brought home my now husband, my family called him Eddie Haskell. It passed though, he no longer feels the need to be polite to them.

Jo Beaufoix said...

Hee hee, your secret is out. ;)

painted maypole said...

"red or white?"

;)

La La said...

that's hilarious!