Thursday, May 1, 2008

Satisfying beauty

There’s a hole in my stockings, I just realized. And I have no plans to run out for a new pair.

I’ve been rubbing a dab of lipstick on my cheeks for weeks. Because I have run out of blusher.

I can’t remember the last time I wore nail polish. It seems like so much effort.

And despite the upward creep of the numbers on my scale, I chose a pot of tea and the newspaper over exercise this morning.

I used to be fierce.

I used to take pride in the curve of my hips and the nip of my waist. In the sharp line of my haircut and the smart click of my heels. I used to revel in the power yielded by beauty and youth.

My beauty and youth.

But now it is not my beauty and youth that makes my heart swell.

Now it is his chubby tummy and the delicious way the cuffs of his jeans kiss his stylish sneakers that make me catch my breath. Now my yearning for the divine is satiated by lilt of his eyelashes and the exquisite hazel hue of his eyes.


And it is enough.

There’s a hole in my stocking, I have lipstick on my cheeks, my nails are bare and my tea is beckoning.

And that’s more than good enough, right now.

Right now.

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63 comments:

Anne said...

What is this nail polish that you speak of?

I'm with you. Exercise, polish and blush have fallen through the cracks for me too.

dkuroiwa said...

Isn't it amazing how these beautiful little creatures that have completely taken over our lives (it seems, at times) have the ability to make everything else SO not so very important anymore?!?!

And yeah...me too...exercise? maybe i'll start on Monday!!
debbie

Dawn said...

Your writing is so beautiful! You're one of those talented people who puts into words so well what people like me feel, but can't express so eloquently.

Heather said...

Yep, I worry more about how my kids look than how I look. Although I really should make more of an effort.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

You'll get back into your looks in a healthy way--now you put your time and energy where it is best spent--your boy.

OHmommy said...

LOL.

Lola painted my toe nails yesterday. You should check them out. I wore ballet flats today at preschool drop off.

E said...

"Yearning for the divine.."
Those are beautiful words. And after all that is the point isn't it, to find the divine...
Lovely. Thank you

Kyla said...

As long as the lipstick isn't on your teeth, you're good. ;)

Tracey said...

Amen. I am content with the fact that I am not the hottie (at least, most of the time) that I used to be. It's ok. I'm NOT 21, so why should I aspire to look it?

Kathryn said...

Amen, amen, AMEN!!!

Trudie said...

You have a way with words!

InTheFastLane said...

Our kids become the central thing and we realize that we are not, at least for now.

Jenifer said...

I remember a time - not THAT long ago when I would not leave the house without my nails done. Now I am lucky if I remember to swipe on something neutral before dashing out the door to a wedding.

And you nailed it, it is enough to see all the beauty reflected on those shiny happy faces of my girls. One has lashes so lush you could comb them and other has eyes so bluey-green you could get lost in them.


That is beauty for sure. Graham looks too cute in the tub!

LaskiGal said...

That is so, so true. *typing as she sits in her PJs listening as her little man chatters away*

Vered said...

Ha. I wrote a post once asking moms "have you let yourself go" and advising against doing that.

But it's hard.

The same is true for relationships - I find that I focus so much energy on my kids, that other relationships pale in comparison.

I still struggle to keep "my" identity as well as my "mommy" identity. It's a tough balancing act.

Cee said...

I love it- great post! I've gotten so lazy lately with my appearances myself. It used to seem easy- not it's just tiring! I ran out of blush too and I haven't been using anything aside from Jergens Glow lotion for over a month!

Kami said...

Yes it is!

They really make you re-evulate your priorities don't they?

:-)

Mental P Mama said...

You have arrived! Welcome;)

tricki_nicki said...

This was so sweet, and definitely struck home. I have big fat tears in my eyes. I definitely have felt the "sacrifice" that it is to be mom, but it's been worth every pound, nail, and lost moment for myself.

For now! Great post.

April said...

Absolutely!

caramama said...

Oh, yes. I am with you. Right exactly with you!

kittenpie said...

True, I used to keep my toenails polished and legs shaved at ALL times, but... well... sometimes, they take a back seat for a few days (legs) or months (toes). I try to keep some very minimal standards, but priorities change, dont' they?

Ali said...

see...that's why its good to have a daughter...she points out the flaws and makes sure when i leave the house i'm presentable. hahaha!

Aunt Becky said...

I love you, dude.

Lisa said...

I was never super good at all of that to begin with - and now, I'm a lost cause! And I'm happier than ever, so it must work :)

nomotherearth said...

Sadly, I keep buying beauty products that I don't have time to use.

Nap Warden said...

Funny how a different perspective changes everything:)

Are You Serious! said...

♡ I'm with ya!

Kbreints said...

Aw-- I love tub shots!

Sass E-mum said...

Oh yes. It's the how cuddly in the bath. The how cute in her clothes. The how peaceful in her sleep.

Makes me feel like cackling 'fly my beauty, fly' because she so stinkin' beautiful.

Casey's trio said...

Isn't it amazing how our priorities change?!?!

Casey's trio said...

BTW, before I had kids I ALWAYS had nicely manicured fingernails. I'd be surprised if they ever see nail polish again. I do keep my toes looking perty though:)

Huckdoll said...

I could have written this myself (but not as well as you, of course)

Beautiful, perfect post. Kudos.

Leanne said...

Yep. I'm with you. BUT now that my youngest is eight, and I'm starting to get a few too many wrinkles around my eyes I'm slowly coming back to finding the make up and creams.....

Mandy said...

A fellow mom and I were just commiserating today over the depth of circles under our eyes, our sweats and wash-and-go hair styles. You captured our conversation much more eloquently!

flutter said...

he is all the beauty you need, right now.

womaninawindow said...

That's sweeter than any tight waist or taut butt!

Corey~living and loving said...

I relate to this in EVERY way.

you inspire me with your words. I long to have your way of writing. Thank you for sharing.

Abbie said...

Isn't it just freaking awesome how these kids humble us so?? I just love this post!

Indy said...

You can't do it all, right? Not at the same time. More than good enough, right now sounds just right.

Karen said...

You're so right. Motherhood changes things you'd never have thought possible before.

Stomper Girl said...

So true!

The Boyds Family said...

That's beautiful and such an excellent description of what happens to us moms. And nail polish...what is that??? lol!

Shellie said...

Welcome to the mom club! That was beautiful!

oda41143 Missy said...

You're an awesome writer. Graham is so cute and he looks just like your husband. I bet you are still looking hot even with your lipstick cheeks :)

Maureen said...

Oh, yeah. When daughter was small, I had no interest at all in my appearance, my needs. Now that she is a teen, she is bringing me back to the fashion world (probably out of shame, but whatev...) ;)

Heather said...

Well said.

Shamelessly Sassy said...

I could not agree more. I know exactly what you mean. Lovely post. :)

Kimmylyn said...

I have to say that I am with you on my heart melting when my boys are looking adorable in their everyday outfits.. or that it is not as important to spend 40 minutes getting ready like it used to be.. I get this post. And that picture is just too cute for words.

Trish K said...

Right there with you. Beautiful sentiments. The last time I saw lipstick it was being pulled out of my dryer after dying all the clothes pink

Mighty Morphin' Mama said...

He sure is beautiful. and I don't think it does us any harm to look beyond our looks for fulfillment. But it sure is nice to indulge ourselves once in a while.
That reminds me, I need to make a hair appointment this week!

Elaine A. said...

Yeah, and when was the last time you shaved your legs? I probably have you beat on that one... LOL!

Cute bath pic!

krissy said...

Ummmm....yeah....dido!!!

I have needed a haircut for a month now. But between Pto, Dance, dogs, hubby, blah,blah,blah....I am running on empty.

Suburbia said...

Ah such a great feeling and only mummy's know!!
Thanks for visiting my place, hope to see you again.

Karen MEG said...

Tea and enjoying your sweet little boy. Sounds like you have your priorities set just perfectly!!!

Barrie said...

He is cute; there's no denying it. :)

Girl said...

I think it's hip to be alll in love with your kidlet. THAT is beauty.

Sue said...

I hear you!
So much more fun to buy cute and fun stuff for our little ones!

tommie said...

very well written!

Kathy said...

This was perfect. I happily give up everything for my babies. Nothing brings me greater joy than to see them happy...and yet.

Hetha said...

These little beauties certainly put things in perspective don't they?

HRH said...

This is seriously genius. I love the truth in it.

Jennifer said...

so very true. i can't tell you the last time i even wore heels or stockings... let alone lipstick any where. lol

but i do find all the beauty in my babies. :)

great post.
adorable picture.

xoxoxox