Tuesday, February 26, 2008

The new king

Oh how the mighty have fallen.

By the mighty I mean me. And when I say I have fallen, I mean, has parenting ever kicked my ass!

I tasted humble pie on the day Graham was born and apparently I can’t get enough. Since then I’ve gone back for more. And still more.

And just the other day I had yet another revelation: I realized I have become the kind of mother I swore I never, ever would become.

I have become the mother who gives in.

You know the kind. The mother who knows she should be a stronger disciplinarian but is so enamored of her child she can’t help but giggle when they are saucy. The kind who knows she shouldn’t coddle so much but nonetheless turns into a soppy puddle of goo at the first whimper. The kind who knows that it’s natural for a child to scream and cry at times but starts to twitch as soon as it starts and cannot bear it for more than a moment.

Sigh.

I’m well known as a bit of a hard-ass in other areas of my life. I do not suffer fools gladly. I refuse to accept poor customer service. In the course of my job, I have to discipline and fire people: I have done both countless times with steely determination. I do not seek confrontation, but neither am I the least bit afraid of it.

Before Graham came along I just assumed that when Rob and I had children, I would be the bad cop. Rob is a little more easy-going than I am, less routine-oriented. I actually worried that I might end up resenting the disciplinarian role I would be forced to assume.

Yeah, not so much.

You know it is bad when even Grandma and Oma are stricter with Graham than his mother is. But God help me, I’m a big ole softie when it comes to my boy.

Graham is my heart and he knows it. Mommy, mommy is like a siren song for me: I am helpless to resist and so I must go and do his bidding.

I must pull him from his bed for more one cuddle. I must hold him close and bury my face in his hair. I must press him to my heart and breathe in his sweetness, even as my rational mind tells me I should be stronger.

Oh yes, the mighty have fallen.

All hail the new king.


Stumble Upon Toolbar

59 comments:

LunaNik said...

I'm with you. I'm a sucker for their big puppy dog eyes and soft whispers of "mommy".

I. Just. Can't. Help. It.

Brittany said...

i think it's a mommy/son thing. I'm a softy to two boys. Adam knows how to butter me the right way, too... and that's dangerous.

sigh.

Melissa said...

You.Just.Have.To. When I find myself doing the things you listed above I tell myself this time isn't going to last forever and I need to enjoy the time I have and if that means one more snuggle before bedtime the best thing I can do is try to enjoy the heck out of it.

I'm sure when Hope is grown up and gone I won't be thinking I should have yelled at her one more time instead of snuggling her...at least that's how I justify it to myself ;)

Urban Daddy said...

He He.

And I thought I would be the softy and UM would be the tough one but it's the other way around. Life is funny that way, eh?

I was wondering what my life would be like if I could fire people at my office... Boy, would that be FUN! I'd let more than half of them go... Tomorrow.

Dawn said...

I could have written this about my son! He's a little Napoleon in our house. My poor husband ends up having to be the strict one while I often have to leave the room when my son is saying something saucy that really shouldn't be said, because I can't help but laugh!

Momma Mary said...

This sounds like my internal monologue for the past, oh, three months or so. Who says we have to discipline our boys? Can't that wait until they're, well 6? Let's let "Future Mommies" (have you ever seen that episode of "How I Met Your Mother?") deal with it.

lattemommy said...

Oh, how they have us wrapped around their little fingers...

Like you, I was a fabulous parent, until I actually became one...

Mommy Cracked said...

ep, there's just something about my little guy that turns me to mush when I know good and well I should be more firm. But they're only little once.

Corey~living and loving said...

REally great post. You have a lovely way of writing. I enjoy it very much.
have a good day.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Take the cuddles for as long as you can!

Abbie said...

Oh I feel ya sister friend. UNBELIEVABLE how these little buggers can't melt us 'strong' women into big giant puddles! Aw shucks, and we still love 'em.

Mighty Morphin' Mama said...

Aw, ya big ole softie. But look at that face, how could you resist.

Family Adventure said...

Look at that shot. How could anyone resist him?

Melt away my friend, because sooner or later they develop teenageritis and lose their goo-creating abilities.

Enjoy your Wednesday - Heidi

LoriD said...

I'm a softie too - moreso with my son than with my girls. He just has a way about him that is difficult to resist!

wheelsonthebus said...

I am a disciplinarian, but sometimes it is just so much WORK! I just given up.

Karen said...

It gets easier with multiple children. Thank goodness. I'd be overrun if I hadn't learned to firm up.

Gabriella said...

I have his queen right here in my house. What a pair they would make...together they would rule the world...hehehe

sky girl said...

So funny that you write about this. Chicka is still too little to really see how things will go but I had always assumed the same as you. But instead, Frenchie is the hardass and I'm the pushover. I kinda like it that way. :)

Zoe said...

look at those eyes??? how could you not!

krissy said...

Shoot girl...I give in all the time when the tears roll or she gives me the sad eyes! It sucks!

Hope you are feeling better and things are brighter for you!

Kimmylyn said...

I love the look on his face in this photo.

I am such a sap most days when it comes to being strict with the boys. I agree with what a comenter said about the mommy/son thing.

Badness Jones said...

Oh do I ever hear you! Before the Princess was born I had SO many ideas about parenting....I swore no child of mine would ever sleep in my bed....she was in my bed before we even left the hospital. I guess the fact that the name we gave her means 'small ruler' should have been my first clue!!!

Someone Being Me said...

Too funny. I thought I would be the softie and my husband would be tough but it actually turns out that I am the tougher one. We'll see how it goes when I stay home with him.

HRH said...

Ya, I have learned the "never say never" lesson and now am ruled by 3 dictators...

Beth said...

I'm right there with you. It's so easy to do. Especially when they are so cute!

Kathryn said...

Oh it is so hard not too. Just look at that face!

Amy said...

oh don't be so hard on yourself! these kids just know how to melt us! sometimes we win and sometimes they win, but the battle ensues.

at least this battle can be ended with hug, cuddles, and kisses! lots of them!

nicely stated!

angie said...

Shouldn't he be wearing purple? He is an adorable king, and I loved this post. Alot.

OHmommy said...

And. So. It begins. All hail the king!!!


LOL. I'm a sucker too.

Melody said...

Oh - you are SO right. Last night, Hubby was getting onto Monkey for something (And he deserved it), Monkey began crying, and I was GLAD that I was standing behind him so that he could see me tear up at that heartbreaking sight.

It

Melody said...

I meant to say so that he could NOT see me tear up

LOL!

Just Janice said...

Well no wonder - look how cute he is!

Melisa said...

Yes, he IS adorable! These times you're having will never come back for a second helping so ENJOY!!

BUT (big disclaimer ahead from a mom of two teenaged boys), you've got the next 7 or 8 years to harden up just a wee bit; LOL

You CAN balance the gooey with the stern: I promise! (and you'll need to, or you're going to have a teenaged manipulator on your hands!) Once you strike that balance, even the teen years won't seem so bad. I'm halfway through them with the older son and I have to say I've been pleasantly surprised. We've only had minor incidents and he DOES still want to talk to me! Woo hoo!

But I digress...enjoy your boy in his little cuteness!

Tootsie Farklepants said...

Long may he rule!

caramama said...

I love that pic of him! He's so adorable.

Since the Pumpkin was born, I read the book Playful Parenting, and it really changed my philosphy about parenting (I highly recommend the book). One of the key things I've decided is that not everything has to be a power struggle. After all, if you fight them about all the little things, will they realize how important the big rules are? So I don't think it's a big deal to let a lot of it go.

Afterall, they are still so little. :-)

Teachin' this mommy new tricks! said...

I have already seen that happen in my life!!! Not that Lucy can really ask for that much. But there were certain things we discussed before she came that we felt we were going to do...yea...not as much as we had hoped for :)

LaskiGal said...

Amen to that . .. I'm joinin' the club. I am the reason little J is still sleeping in his co-sleeper next to the bed (and the reason he ends up in our bed more times than not). I'm a sucker and he hasn't even hit 1!

Are You Serious! said...

♥ Such a sweet post! Graham is so cute!!! How can you not resist him! :)

Queen of My Domain said...

I don't think it's always a bad thing to not always be the bad cop. They will always remember the extra hugs and kisses you give them. And from what I hear, we will have plenty of opportunities to play bad cop during the teenage years.

SaraLynn said...

Too sweet! I am the same way with my little guy. It is so hard to keep a straight face. Now he can tell by my eyes and he just grins. It's heart melting!
Love your blog, I check it daily now!

Stimey said...

Yeah, I was the most awesome mom before I had kids. Since giving birth, it's all gone downhill.

Nap Warden said...

I go back a forth...sometimes I'm good cop, sometimes bad.

ewe are here said...

But a cute king! ;-)

Kellan said...

How could you possibly resist that face - he is a cutie - I can see the problem. Take care - Kellan

Holly said...

I'm a softie for some things and other times I'm pretty tough. Snuggles though? Can't get enough!!

jennwa said...

That cute face would make the toughest just melt to butter. He is a cutey, do not be hard on yourself, it happens to the best of us.

Amy said...

I expected to be the bad cop too. I expected my husband would give in to their every whim. I was so wrong.

I don't know if I'm the softie because I work full time, or God decided I should work full time because I am a softie and have no business raising my children.
*sigh*

John-Michael said...

Awww, forget "how it looks." It may appear to be some labeled "thing", but what is really happening, is happening inside, not on the surface behavioral appearance. What counts (for the long haul [for all concerned]) is what is going on between your hearts.

And, Dear Lady, you have some extra fine "heart stuff" going on. Let it be known, understood, and learned by your son. The behavioral stuff has plenty of advocates and practitioners in every setting and environment that he will live his life in.

The stuff of the heart has just one chance of being communicated. And you sound like a very good communicator of love. Do it!

Jennifer said...

You may have fallen, but what a soft landing. :)

tommie said...

That little face begs to be kissed!

Get all those kisses in now...my four year old tells me he is too old for kisses! I have to steal them now.

Jenifer said...

Well he is pretty cute. We are both pretty strict although I have been known to cave once in awhile. I think my smitten side comes out in other ways...not if you ask the girls though - the words 'meanest Mommy ever' have been heard in these parts.

Casey's trio said...

I hear you on this one....it's funny how they can be such stinkers and then just give you a look that melts your heart!

Happy Days said...

I can so relate! How could you not be melted with those eyes!!!
BTW-I love the way you write!

kay said...

wait until he gets a few years older. you will get over that quickly!! :)

E said...

You are doing it all just right. He is loved. Saucy beats plain every time. And snuggling makes for gentle loving adults....

Karen C. said...

He's so cute though!!! How could you not give in to that???

Thanks for stopping by my blog and showing some support. I appreciate it so much, and now we're friends for life!!! :)

Joanna said...

Oh my word! The boy knows it too from the saucy look on his face.

The Boyds Family said...

With a face like that, who wouldn't be a sucker?? And those eyes!!! WOW! Watch out girls, this one's gonna be a heart breaker!

Mr Lady said...

Have you SEEN that child? Of course you have fallen!