Friday, February 8, 2008

Save your sympathy sweetie

Our waitress couldn’t have been more than 19 years old.

Kim and I were at the least objectionable of the three licensed restaurants at a suburban mall, chosen because it had lots of parking and was equal driving distance for both of us.

The server’s hair was perfect, her thick makeup expertly applied. She was bubbly and enthusiastic – too bubbly and enthusiastic. Her forced cheer made it clear she had us pegged.

Oh God, a couple of moms on the town - poor things. This must be a big night out for them. Better not let them sense my pity or they’ll start acting bitchy.

And I looked across the table at Kim, who I first met almost a dozen years ago when she was a 21-year cocktail waitress and I was bartending at the infamous nightspot in our home town. And something unspoken passed between us.

Kim knew what I wanted to say.

I wanted to say that my best friend and I hadn’t always hemmed and hawed before deciding it would be okay to split a half litre of wine. That we hadn’t always stopped to consider whether a fried appetizer would wreak havoc on our stomachs.

I wanted to say that ten years ago we would have been cracking wise about music and clothes and flirting with the hotties at the bar, not hauling our kids’ pictures out of our wallets and telling story after story about the funny things they said.

I wanted to say that 10 years ago we wouldn’t have planned this night weeks in advance and we wouldn’t have been caught dead in this cheesy bar, in this cheesy mall, no matter how convenient and plentiful its parking.

I wanted to say that 10 years ago I would never have glanced at my watch and winced to see that it was already 9:45 p.m.

But I didn’t say anything. Neither did Kim.

We just smiled at each other. Happy, secure, amused.

Because our waitress couldn’t have been more than 19 years old.

And she couldn’t possibly know that the middle-aged moms splitting an appetizer and a half litre of wine would have given her pert, little ass a run for its money in their day.

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50 comments:

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

When did everyone get so darned young, anyway?

Brittany said...

9:45 is late... sigh.

ewe are here said...

D*mn right!

Hetha said...

Sing it Diva!

OHmommy said...

You are awesome! This is awesome. I love awesome!!!

Dawn said...

Perfectly said.

sky girl said...

Wait. You couldn't possibly middle aged! That would mean that I'm middled aged too!

Ack! When did that happen.

Thanks for the laughs.

Beth said...

We're not middle aged are we? We can't be because that would mean we are....old.

I still think you could give the 19year old a run for her money!

Chicky Chicky Baby said...

A-freaking-men.

I wouldn't have made it to 9:45.

Holly said...

Love it! I'll bet we could all give her a run for her money, still! At least in attitude!

E said...

Think of what you know now that you didn't know then...you can more than give her a run for her money Diva...They may have pert, but we have experience.
And seasoned is sexier....

Life As I Know It said...

True True True!

And I had to laugh because I cannot stomach fried food anymore...

Badness Jones said...

I loved that post. Those were the days....but these days are better!

crazymumma said...

Haha. I so know that feeling. When they look at you like you are a kitten on two legs born yesterday. And you feel like saying...then you set on back and realize it is all puff and bluster and they wouldn't believe you were cool. ever.

Cecily R said...

Oh I love this post! You are such a great writer, I feel like I am right there with you!!

Jennifer said...

Damn straight, sister! Love it.

Just Janice said...

I bet you can still give her little ass a run for her money!

Tot's Mom said...

You described the 10 years ago very well. Give the waitress a chance. 10 years from now, she'll probably be writing exactly the same things that you have written now. ;)

Her Bad Mother said...

HA. Betcha she did know.

Are You Serious! said...

So funny!

Kellan said...

A run for her money - for sure!! Cute post! Have a good weekend Kelly - see ya. Kellan

Huckdoll said...

Go girls! Awesome, awesome post. I'm hankering for an outing with a friend now, must have been fun, huh?

Laura said...

You got it right!!!!!

Here's to us!

Lori at Spinning Yellow said...

Damn straight! 19? More than half a lifetime ago for me....

emily said...

You stayed out past 9:45? WOW, you are the coolest Mom EVER!

That little girl just doesn't know cool yet!

GoMommy said...

You guys are smokin! These cute little perky girls keep getting younger and younger, don't they?

Queen of My Domain said...

Wow, you were out past 9:30 without your kids. Sigh, I remember those days well. What a fun post and a bit to acurate.

slouching mom said...

Amen. And weren't you two hawt!

Mommy Cracked said...

Rock on, Hot Mama!!!

mamatulip said...

I love this! I had a similar experience on Friday night with girlfriends, and I felt the same way.

a kelly said...

If you're middle aged
then I'm a senior citizen.
I work with a lot of "younguns"...
They don't know what they don't know!
You are so eloquent (blog-oquent?)

Karen MEG said...

You are NOT middle-aged mamas.. because if you were, uh, what would that make me?

Great photo! And glad you were able to have a great girls' night out.

She'll be here one day, you know she will. And may she be lucky to look half as good as you girls do today. Rock on Kelly ;)

wheelsonthebus said...

Just sent this link to my best friend, who I met waitressing when we were young and pert.

C said...

This is such a great post!
LOVE the photo!

secret agent mama said...

Girl, I so feel this post, it's not even funny!

Jen said...

Ha! Great post! There are so many facets of my life now that my 19 year old self would be completely oblivious to, even on her best day.

Oh, The Joys said...

You're just getting better!

Zoe said...

you go girl!!! i would say more but it's 10:30 and iam dog ass tired despite taking a nap with the baby today!

Kathryn said...

Hell yeah!
This is a fabulous post! I love it! And I love the pic!

MamaGeek said...

Damn skippy.

I love that shot.

Family Adventure said...

That's RIGHT! You THINK it girl!

Then go ahead and splurge on that one glass of wine. But go easy on the appetizer...

Heidi :)

jennwa said...

You are so right. Great picture. That girl had better watch herself.

I passed an award on to you. See you soon.

Maria said...

And most likely that waitress will be like you in another 10 years, and has no idea. It's nice that you got to go out.

Kimmylyn said...

I love the photo!! LOVE IT.. that 19 year old can't touch the confidence in this photo!!!

Great post!

Teachin' this mommy new tricks! said...

Love it!!! ha ha ha!

caramama said...

Amen, sister!

Isn't nice to be secure enough and happy in your life right now to not need to say anything? What the heck do 19 year olds know about happiness and being secure in yourself?

Damselfly said...

Hahaha! Of course you would.

Sometimes I think about what it would be like if everyone were the same age for a while....

ALF said...

I wish I was 19...

krissy said...

Amen sister, Amen!!!

That is one hot picture of you two though! Screw teenagers.....middle age is the new cool!!!!

I love it!

Tootsie Farklepants said...

You'd give that perky little twit a run for her money NOW!!!