Monday, January 26, 2009

Tiny gifts

Sometimes the universe drops tiny gifts in your lap.

Sometimes a small victory, a shared laugh and connections made build one upon another to renew your confidence that life will always sort itself out.

Sometimes, when you express yourself from the heart; when you ask for a sign that someone or something is rooting for you and your family, the universe answers.

And it says yes.

My late friend Grace's book, about her battle with chronic illness, arrived on my doorstep just a week before my mother-in-law went to the hospital suffering symptoms which we now know are a result of cancer of the lymph nodes.

The comment from Grace's mother - a pastor at a tiny church in northern Canada - arrived just hours after I posted my ruminations on her life, her faith and the meaning of her reemergence in my psyche and my life. The e-mail from Grace's sister - who runs a centre for victims of sexual assault not far from where I live - came shortly afterwards.

Both these women, who I met just once more than 17 years ago, thanked me - me! - for what I had written about Grace and expressed how much my words had meant to them. And while I am profoundly humbled that something I wrote has brought them some measure of comfort, I am also gratified and awed that these connections, fostered across cyberspace, by way of this space, have brought me a renewed faith that my life, however trying at times, is indeed unfolding in the manner in which it was intended.

Yes, the end of last week was much better than the beginning, the timbre of which was characterized by this post about how inadequate I felt for having neither the energy nor the inclination to potty-train.

Just hours after I heard from Grace's sister and returned home to Rob and Graham after a much-needed, post-meeting wine and gab session with two work colleagues - wonderful women who I now proudly call friends - there was a surprise in store.

"Go ahead, Graham," Rob said. "Show mommy what we've been working on while she was at work."

And over to the potty chair my boy went. And with the biggest, proudest smile you have ever seen, he sat right down.

Yes, he was wearing a diaper. And yes, he was fully clothed. But Graham sat right on the potty, cheerfully and without apparent fear of the monsters he has long insisted reside inside.

I never thought such a little thing could make me feel so hopeful.

Hopeful not just about potty training, but about everything else, because Graham overcoming his fear and stubborn resistance so suddenly demonstrates to me that we are never truly stuck and that people and situations always evolve.

And I never thought that such a little thing could make me feel so proud: proud because it demonstrates to me that me and my little boy and my little family are capable of working on anything together and getting results.

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28 comments:

Melissa said...

We always look at change with fear but sometimes change is a good thing for everyone.

You and your family continue to be in my prayers...and I can't wait until Grace's book ends up on my doorstep (in fact, I sent my hubby to a couple of bookstores looking for it).

Sass E-mum said...

That's so fab.

And oh - I get the relief of Graham defeating his demons. So cool that Rob was on the case.

Renée aka Mekhismom said...

What a wonderful post. I love that Graham is no longer afraid of the potty. How brilliant is it that Grace's family reached out to you? Your words are always beautiful and touching so I am not surprised.

Chantal said...

Nice. Smiles!

Kat said...

What a lovely, hopeful post. :)

kbreints said...

The best things come in small packages... and the smallest things can bring the biggest smiles!! So happy for you!

Vered - MomGrind said...

Yeah Graham! I'm so happy for you. I can totally relate. And I agree - people evolve and change - that's one of the best things about us.

OHmommy said...

Way to go Graham!!!!

anglophilefootballfanatic.com said...

It's wonderful when you get a little praise for doing good. And, kudos on the potty sitting.

Melisa with one S said...

Yay!!! That's awesome. That light is indeed at the end of the tunnel...

Woman in a Window said...

Never a sweeter potty training post. I hope all does sort itself out and I hope you've the strength to endure it along the way.

texasholly said...

YEAH! This was the sweetest.

for a different kind of girl said...

That's so awesome! Way to go, Graham! I hope the days ahead hold some treasures for you, too!

Michelle said...

((HUGS))
That is wonderful!
I'm so happy that you are doing better. I've been thinking about you and your family.

Shannon said...

What a wonderful post. I swear our kids have impeccable timing . . . like when it really comes down to it, they are in tune with the universe and have an illusive way of delivering exactly what it is we need at that moment.

Congrats to Graham for the big "sit down"!

iheartchocolate said...

Reading your post about the potty scenario was a tiny gift to ME. I got it in my head to try something different with MY 3 year old who was stubbornly refusing to do #2 on the pot...I bought her a pink potty to keep in the room wherever we are..and she has been pooping in it ever sense! Potty training success! It is solely due to your post, making me think around the box that was my frustrated self and my anti-training child. So, thank you. I know she'd thank you to, for the sucker she gets each time, if she knew who was secretly behind it all.

iheartchocolate said...

Ever since...sorry. I should check my grammar first ;)

Pregnantly Plump said...

That's great about the potty-training! I'm glad that your feeling better as well!

Sus said...

wow - this is why i love moms who write. I never thought someone could write a sentence that includes the word "potty" and pull it off so eloquently. here from princess chronicles, and very impressed with my first impression.

Heather said...

I'm happy to 'hear' the hope it your voice.

flutter said...

Graham totally rocks!

Tracey said...

What an inspiring post, hon! Hope your mother in law is doing well and that you take this moment of hope and build upon it.

Mighty Morphin' Mama said...

How wonderful to be able to grasp a hope and see through the circumstances.
Holding you in my heart and prayers.

Oz said...

Yay Graham! Way to beat those potty monsters!

Nap Warden said...

We are dealing with heave duty potty fears here. Thank you Graham for giving Miss Peach hope:)

Elaine A. said...

Go Graham! I think the tiny gifts are usually the best, even if they are in the form of a tinkle! (or an email...) ; )

imbeingheldhostage said...

fabulous post-- I love the hope and insight through this.

Jaina said...

Those are often the best gifts of all. The beauty is in the little things.