Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Another cherished notion of childhood tradition shattered

In our house there is a hammock in a corner of a room surrounded by lots of glass and tall, green plants.

And ever since Graham was just a few days old, it is to this hammock in the corner of this room, that I have retreated with my boy in my arms to croon the same song: Happy Together by the Turtles.

"Me and you and you and me,
No matter how they toss the dice,
It had to be,

The only one for me is you,
And you for me,
So happy together."

And Graham doesn't fit into my arms the way he used to, but nonetheless we still retreat to that same hammock a few times a week and I still sing that same song to him. And every time I do I imagine that he is feeling the same sense of love and connectedness that I am.

Until yesterday.

We were swaying and I was softly crooning when Graham interrupted our reverie.

"Mommy please don't sing that song anymore."

I was taken aback.

"But I thought you loved that song."

"Well, I do like that song. But I just don't want you to sing it anymore."

"But Graham, mommy loves to sing it."

"BUT MOMMY!! I am just saying that I would just rather that you didn't sing that song anymore, OKAY?!"

I gulped.

"Oh...well...okay Graham."

And so it goes.


******************************

Thank you each and every one for your comforting words, support and thoughtful advice on Saturday 's post. They made a difference, they really did: much love and appreciation.

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38 comments:

the planet of janet said...

sigh ...

Leanne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Leanne said...

I have a song, a made up one, that I've always sung to my trio. It's about how much I love them and always will. They don't want to hear it most days, but when they're sick or scared it's still one of my sure fire ways to calm them down.

This moment is just the natural progression of his growing and moving a little away from you. If he wasn't doing it you wouldn't be doing your job of helping him grow into an independant and healthy young man.

Relax, he'll want to hear it again and when he does? It'll be all the more special because you'll have your baby back...for a minute.

Letting them go is a bitch. Hugs.

Michelle said...

:(
Peanut did that to me too. It broke my heart. But we want them to be able to tell us anything, right? So we suck it up.
I think Leanne is right, we'll have other moments.

Brittany said...

They have such a stinkin' opinion, sometimes, don't they?!?!

OHmommy said...

Oh no.

My son did the same thing months ago and I cried. A little bit. OK. A lot.

Heather said...

They can so easily break our hearts can't they?

Rachel B said...

I dread the day Mr. Farty doesn't want to hear me sing (in French) the song about the elephant...

Mighty Morphin' Mama said...

Aw... my heart is breaking for you!
My kids have always asked for Away in a Manger as a lullaby, and even my 14 year old will still let me sing it to him while tickling their backs. So I think Graham will let you sing again. He may just be uncomfortable with the achy feeling he may get when you sing it. My now 5 year old is like that sometimes. He is very sensitive to other people's emotions and to music and mood in tv/movies and music. He is easily moved to tears by them, just like me. And he is uncomfortable & confused by that and will ask me to turn something off only to then turn it back on again as tears pour down his cheeks.
I hope Graham will ask you to sing again soon.

Mr Lady said...

The first time I went to kiss my boy goodbye in front of school and he turned his cheek to me I cried the whole walk home.

It. Sucks.

bejewell said...

Oh! My heart skipped a beat. I sing the same song, among others, to my bean and recently we've faced the move from crib to bed AND a major transition-from-baby-to-little-boy haircut...I can't even begin to imagine the pain of the day he asks me not to sing to him anymore. Too fast! Make it stop! Ugh.

Anonymous said...

I used to tell my son "its wakey wakey time" in a lovely sing song voince- until he was about 10 and mad at me. He yelled, "And stop saying its wakey wakey time in that annoying voice!" Boo hoo, I thought it was a great wake up ritual. That's ok, I now have a 2yr old and I say, "Wakey wakey Jakey Jakey" in my not annoying voice. I have another 8 yrs before he yells at me. :) Gotta love our kids, even when they break our hearts.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

He may change his mind tomorrow--or the next time he gets sick.

Mandy said...

It's hard when they push us an arm's length away. But then there will be another moment tomorrow when he pulls you in even closer.

kittenpie said...

Yeah, mine doesn't like me singing to her, either - most of the time. But sometimes lullabies are okay. Sme with kisses - mostly they are "yuck" but some nights... she would like some.

Parent Club said...

I've been asked not to speak french at school anymore bc apparently "Mommy - you don't speak french very well".

Gawd...honesty and innocence can be brutal

3boys247 said...

Ouch, I can actually feel your heart breaking.

It is just the beginning; don't walk me to the bus stop, don't come to my class, stop singing. Yes, the embarrassment of having a mother, poor kids.

Chantal said...

One time I was singing to M and he asked me to stop and put his hand over my mouth to stop me. :( Not that it will make you feel any better, but they all do it.

kbreints said...

Maybe you should print or write out the words and frame them in his room with a picture of you two together.

Kids are so funny when they get their own opinion about things...

Pregnantly Plump said...

Little Elvis won't let me sing with the radio anymore. Even though I like to, he whines and fusses at me.

Pregnantly Plump said...

Little Elvis won't let me sing with the radio anymore. Even though I like to, he whines and fusses at me.

Pregnantly Plump said...

Little Elvis won't let me sing with the radio anymore. Even though I like to, he whines and fusses at me.

Pregnantly Plump said...

Little Elvis won't let me sing with the radio anymore. Even though I like to, he whines and fusses at me.

Pregnantly Plump said...

Little Elvis won't let me sing with the radio anymore. Even though I like to, he whines and fusses at me.

Pregnantly Plump said...

Little Elvis won't let me sing with the radio anymore. Even though I like to, he whines and fusses at me.

Pregnantly Plump said...

Little Elvis won't let me sing with the radio anymore. Even though I like to, he whines and fusses at me.

Pregnantly Plump said...

Little Elvis won't let me sing with the radio anymore. Even though I like to, he whines and fusses at me.

Badness Jones said...

Sam is only just 2, and when I try to sing to him he holds his finger to his lips and says, "shhhhh!!" And I love to sing to him. Ah well, I guess I'm glad he knows his own mind!

Ellyn said...

For us it was You Are My Sunshine. My boy also asked me to stop singing it. So Sad.

motherbumper said...

Gigi started to ask me to stop singing too and I know it's more than just the song that I'm going to miss. Le Sigh.

Tabitha said...

It is sad when these things happen ~ I suppose that it is just part of kids getting older ~ but it is still sad!
My son tells me not to kiss him goodbye anymore when I take him to school......then again ~ he is 11 now ha ha !!!!
love and hugs Tabitha XXXXXX

Kyla said...

Oh yeah. It comes and goes, though, at least it has with both of my kiddos.

Nap Warden said...

OMG...same thing happened to me, only the Little Man simply looked up and yelled "No song pong!"
Way to break my heart Little Man:(

Andrea said...

OUCH!! That almost makes me teary-eyed....

MommyTime said...

Ack. Those moments are so painful. I send much sympathy.

Jaina said...

Awww, that's rough.

Mommy Cracked said...

Awww. Break a mama's heart, huh? I was just thinking today that the time that they are little goes by so fast....this is a perfect example. Things will change. *sigh*

Reluctant Housewife said...

I say sing it anyway.

Sometimes kids are just in a mood. He probably loves it. I sing Lullaby by the Dixie Chicks to Monkey he usually loves it but sometimes he'll glare and put his hands over my mouth. But I keep on singing anyway. I'm stubborn like that. :)