Show me the money sister

I would love to be rich.

Like, really, really rich.

Rich enough that the day-to-day of stress of paying mortgages and bills would be a thing of the past for me and the people I love. Rich enough to travel the world with Graham and teach him first-hand about politics and culture.

Rich enough to start a foundation to provide seed money for poor women who want to start small businesses. Rich enough to buy a penthouse in New York, a beach house in the Caribbean and a farm with lots of horses and dogs north of Toronto.

Rich enough to....umm, okay you get the point.

The point is, like 99% of the population, I can always find ways to spend extra money. And that means, straight up, if my writing here at Don Mills Diva allows me to earn extra money, I will accept it gratefully and with no sense of shame for having somehow sullied myself.

But I do have a few rules:

1. My ads will be found in my sidebars only. I am not interested in pay-per-post and I will not slip product reviews and pitches into this middle column.

2. I am thrilled to accept money and/or free stuff in exchange for writing on my review blog: that's what it's there for. I will write a teaser here on my main blog and readers may or may not choose to click over and read the product review.

3. I will always try to express my opinions freely and not be influenced by how people might react to my words. I freely admit this is a constant struggle, in life and on my blog.

(Note: I don't curse here. Not because I'm afraid to offend potential advertisers but because I endeavor not to curse in real life. Also, I don't reveal gory details about my family life here because, well, some things are private, thank you very much.)

It's pretty simple. I don’t think it’s terribly controversial. I write to the very best of my ability. I work my butt off. I endeavor to entertain and enlighten and perhaps even incite and if I do it well enough, for long enough, I could make some money. If that happens, I think I will deserve it. If it doesn't, well, I probably deserve that too.

Neat how that works, huh?

So why do we, and by we I mean women, make it so complicated?

Monetizing your blog or blogging for bucks was a popular seminar at the recent BlogHer conference and the notion that women should dare earn money from - GASP! - writing about family life was a hot topic of discussion.

Yawn.

To steal a line from Scarbie Doll - This is why we don't rule the world.

Can you honestly picture thousands of men wringing their hands and clucking their tongues over whether accepting payment for something they do well is tantamount to defiling themselves?

I didn't think so.

I learned at BlogHer that there are 36 million people in the blogosphere every week: that translates into an awesome economic opportunity for people like me, whose fondest dream is to earn money from their writing.

I would do this for free. Hell, I practically do do this for free.

But if one day, by writing on my own terms in my own space, I manage to earn enough readers to actually make me rich, I'll be damned if I'll demure and giggle nervously like some modest, 19th century maiden.

I will stand proud. I will accept my due. And I will cash the check.

Just like a man would.

Privacy? Schmivacy.

My name is Kelly.

My husband is Rob and we have a son named Graham. We live in the Toronto neighborhood of Don Mills. He is a sound recordist and mixer for television and feature films and I work in communications in the same industry.

I could go on. I have gone on. You can read through my archives and check out a movie I produced, figure out where I grew up and went to high school. Where I used to live. You can read about my mom and dad and his faithful dog and even where I like to vacation.

And that doesn't scare me.

There was a very popular seminar on mommy blogging and public parenting and privacy at BlogHer last weekend and I wasn't there. I didn't go because I'm not interested in that debate. I refuse to wring my hands or gnash my teeth. I get that some people are deeply conflicted about exposing themselves on the Internet and I do, truly do, empathize with them.

But I'm sorted. I'm good. And I'll tell you why.

I am a writer - a writer with a fairly extensive background in reporting and writing for newspapers and I bring this up again not to make myself feel important (okay, maybe just a little) but because it is relevant.

In the lifestyle section of every newspaper in every community across much of the world, columnists publish under by-lines with their real names. Their photo is often featured and they routinely write in first person and reference their families.

We have columnists in Toronto who I feel I know personally and I'm quite sure that's their intention: that's their job and several of them have been doing it for many, many years.

And that's what I do here. I build relationships with my readers by writing about the beauty and poignancy of family life. And I reject the notion that because I do it on the Internet I am somehow more careless and tawdry than those who do it in my local paper. (I'm probably actually safer because only a tiny fraction of my readers are within striking distance of me and my family were they so inclined).

I find it endlessly ironic that I was lambasted for "pimping" out my child in Canada's national newspaper when that same paper often proudly features a sexy, young columnist and single mom who routinely discusses parenting as well as her sex life and personal relationships in far more detail than I ever have. (Read my response here).

Repeat after me: this is not a diary.

It is a column. A lifestyle column, featuring a working mom named Kelly, her husband Rob and a beautiful boy named Graham.

I hope you will continue to enjoy it and if you're ever in Don Mills? Do look me up.

Mommy blogging: a facking radical act

I have always been a rebel in my own mind.

I’m like a lot of people out there: I adore the notion of myself as daring and fearless when, in fact, there is little about the way I live my day-to-day life that could be considered radical.

I am a working mother. I am a wife. I’m a bit of a smart-ass, but when the chips are down I’m loath to actually offend people. Sure I fly float planes in my spare time and it’s an interesting pursuit, perhaps even brave, but I’m about 70 years late to the aviation revolution.

What I do here, what I write about on Don Mills Diva, is not courageous. I’m fluffy and I have always owned that. I am a manipulator. At my best I can choose and position my words in such a fashion that the tears and chuckles of my readers are almost involuntary.

I’m shameless, really.

This blog is not my personal diary and it never will be. My intimate struggles - and you must trust me when I say I have intimate struggles – are not detailed here.

I am not Mr. Lady, who stood beautiful and alone on stage at BlogHer, read this post, brought the facking house down and goddamn-broke my heart. I am not Maria – she of the shirt - who teases me for saying facking when I really mean…well, you know.

So why did I grab a microphone during a BlogHer discussion entitled Is Mommy Blogging a Radical Act? and declare “Hell yes, it is!?”

Because I am a writer.

Because I have always been a writer. Because I have spent my whole life searching for an audience and now I have one. Because I had piece after piece rejected by (mostly white and male) newspaper editorial boards and now their opinions don’t matter. Because you are here, reading me and, presumably, it is my writing brought you here and my writing that can drive you away.

I start my dream job on Monday after submitting a resume that prominently featured Don Mills Diva. I’m going to be the director of communications for these people, partially because I used this little humble space on the Internet to prove that I can write: to prove that I can compel people to want to read the things I choose to write about.

And no, I do not choose, and will not in the foreseeable future choose, to detail how my family has been touched by pain and stress and mental illness.

But I will continue to write and I will endeavor to entertain and I believe with all my heart that my hard work and dedication will continue to expand my readership.

Pretty facking radical isn’t it?