Tuesday, September 2, 2008

I'm Not Diva-Worthy

*I love people from Texas: I just wanna take every last one of them out for beers. And McMommy is exactly how I imagine all Texans to be: boisterous, funny, hospitable and somehow proud as hell and hilariously self-depreciating all at the same time. Crack open a cold one and enjoy!*

Sometimes you are just going about your day….la-la-la-la…….and BAM!!!!!!

You get an email from THE DON MILLS DIVA.
Asking you to guest post.


Of course, I emailed her back in 1.2 nanoseconds telling her “Sure!”….although my fingers were shaking so bad I could barely type. But I had to respond before she could change her mind and realize what a terrible mistake she has made.

There are so many reasons I am not qualified to guest post for her.
So as not to completely embarrass myself with the length of my original “I’m Not Diva Worthy” list…..I figured I would narrow it down to a somewhat less humiliating top three reasons.

1. Her name.
She has this AMAZING blog name: The Don Mills DIVA.
Heck, she has the word “DIVA” right there in it so you know she’s kick ass.
I have made up words in my blog name.
Plus, I am a “chronicle” which just sounds like some little, annoying, freakish fairytale creature.
And truly, if a “Diva” were to fight a “chronicle”…..who would win?
As if I even needed to tell you.
Just take one look at the header of this blog.
The Diva would totally put the smackdown on the chronicle with that iron.

2. Her content.
The Diva is the thinking person’s blogger. She delves into such topics as the hypocrisy of Western morals and makes it interesting and a worthy read. You most likely feel smarter and more worldly after reading her blog posts.
Me, on the other hand?
Um yeah…I’m the one who talks about Drunk Mom Chicken Fighting.
(I can’t tell you how embarrassed I am just to type that here on the Diva’s blog.)

3. She can multi-task like no other.
She’s a mom, a wife, and works in the Toronto film industry. She has not one but TWO blogs. She shares her product reviews and recipes….about delicious, healthy, homemade treats such as Gluten-Free Crispy Honey Almond Bars that have good-for-you ingredients like flax and dry-skim milk powder.
The chronicle?
Can barely handle one blog.
Manages to completely squash any ounce of health out of a basic recipe like Oatmeal Raisin cookies by omitting ingredients like pureed zucchini and raisins. Instead, she adds CANDY to her recipes such as Raisinettes.
Is so ditzy she left her purse in the driveway and drove away not even realizing it. Until she came home. And pulled into her driveway. And saw this:

Ok, that being said…..I DO have one thing that The Don Mills Diva doesn’t.

(It’s true. I do.)
And…an immune system that should be serving time at the state prison for murder.

Jealous much, Don Mills Diva??

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Manager Mom said...

Oh... I had to go and google what a goiter is. Yikes! I'm sorry.

Vodka Mom said...

goiter, shmoiter. Call me when your hysterectomy incision COMES APART and you have to have a wound vac attached to your incision for a MONTH. Then I'll feel bad for ya.

:-) good job....

Vodka Mom said...

Did I mention the incision was about 7 inches long? DID I?????

Woman in a Window said...

And drunk mom chicken fightening sounds intriguing to me. What's that say about me, eh, what do you think?

Jennifer @ Fruit of My Hands said...

Oh, this is hilarious.

Anti-Supermom said...

DMD and McMommy come together - it's like the best day ever. You girls are awesome, both of you!

~*Jobthingy*~ said...

i am glad i wasnt the only w=one that was fascinated by the drunk mom chicken fighting. i almost want to start it as an Olympic sport

Kellan said...

I'm from Texas and have to agree with Kelly - us Texans are pretty darn special. Nice to meet you McMommy - see you soon - Kellan

Barrie said...

Yay for the guest blogger and her goiter! And...all the other funny things she wrote!

Rach (Mommy Learns to Blog) said...

McMommy you ARE so Diva-worthy! Loved your guest post!

And love Don Mills Diva too!

Shauna said...

Guest posting is nerve wracking and I think you did a bang up job. :)

Bird's Eye View Photography said...

ok, that picture?? seriously made me laugh out loud!! so funny.

Sue Wilkey said...

Vote McMommy for Hottest Blogger Calendar! (oh-it's over?) Well she should have won because she had REAL votes, not "clear-the-cookies-and-vote-for-myself-900-times" votes. That's right, I went there. Because it's not my blog, and I'm a chicken like that. :) Love you, mcMommy.

Colleen - Mommy Always Wins said...

Oh, the image of that lonely purse sitting in the driveway taunting you is TOO MUCH. I can sympathize!

Claremont First Ward said...

I'm so glad you guest posted today. I thoroughly enjoyed it!

Unknown said...

Are you kidding? This is like peas and carrots together. Love your post and where you posted! : )

Don Mills Diva said...

I am seething with jealousy.

Ordering a goiter STAT.

Indy said...

I love to read both of you so this is really working out for me.

Anonymous said...

Falling down funny!