Diva's guide to 2008 trends, part deux

We made it past Groundhog Day people!

In my neck of the woods the little critter popped up and declared I would grow ever more gorgeous and stylish in 2008. And while I wouldn't normally put much stock in a rodent's opinion, I think he might be right on the money this year.

The good news is you're all gonna grow more gorgeous and stylish along with me. To wit, I present my take on the last five of the Top 10 fashion-must-haves for 2008 according to Elle Canada magazine.

1. Deck shoes - This trend doesn't excite me only because I'm a heels girl and always have been, even though flats have been super trendy for a few years now. But I do know there are lots of women who will cheer the news that once again they can wear stylish shoes without sacrificing comfort. To you I say - ENJOY! There will probably be a lot of cute variations on the preppy, boat shoes we all remember from high school. And who knows? If this trend looks like it's here to stay, I might even cave, embrace it and relive my brief high school flirtation with preppy style. Minus the torrid love affair with Duckie though - it's taken me way too long to quit him.

Want to check out the rest? You're gonna have to skedaddle on overto my Shooting for Hip column at Mommyblogstoronto. I got some fun pictures over there...

Diva's guide to 2008 fashion must-haves

I know you're all freezing your cute little butts off out there, but trust me spring is right around the corner. Before long you are going to be wondering what kind of clothes you should be stocking up on in order to preserve and promote your image as the MILFiest mom on the block. (That's right, it's an adjective now - you heard it here first).

And so I present to you, my take on the first five of the Top 10 fashion-must-haves for 2008 according to Elle Canada magazine.

1. Floral Print Dress - Meh. This isn't exactly an earth-shattering trend in my opinion. Haven't stylish floral print dresses always been must-haves for spring and summer? It sounds like we're going to have brighter and bolder patterns to choose from this year and that's great, but I would caution heavier gals not to go with versions that are too flowy: make sure the fit is smart and flattering as the difference between a floral print dress and a mumu could boil down to bad lighting in the dressing room or a sycophant salesperson.

You're gonna have to mosey on over to my Shooting for Hip column at Mommyblogstoronto to read the rest. You best go else you're not gonna have a clue what to wear. Go on now. Git.

Even more celebrity madness

Just a few weeks back I wrote a piece about celebrities and addiction.

Today I am writing about my own addiction.

I have become addicted to a certain celebrity gossip site which shall not be named. You know the one. It’s run by that ubiquitous, pudgy blogger famed for photo-shopping nasty drawings and observations over photos and generally being the snarkiest snark that ever snarked.

At first his cheery pink site seemed like such fun. I like to think I got on the bandwagon earlier than most people and as such I felt a certain amount of pride in having discovered him.

And as someone who works in the industry he lampoons, I took no small delight in seeing him mercifully expose certain celebrities as the horrible human beings we all know they can be.

But somewhere along the line the worm turned.

I’m not sure if the content of his site has gotten nastier over the last few months or if the same old nastiness, piled upon itself day after day has culminated in something that suddenly seems inexplicably dark and sad.

Maybe it's his refusal to stop making fun of the children of his celebrity targets, given my recent and sincerely heartfelt musings on bullying.

Maybe it’s his continuing potshots at Brittany Spears who appeared to spiral into a full-blown mental-health collapse right on his gleeful cue.

Maybe it’s my own shame at hypocritically bemoaning our culture’s crass obsession with celebrities, while still making the crassest self-promoter of them all rich with my guilty, surreptitious clicking.

At any rate I think I’ve hit rock bottom.

I’m not having fun anymore. I don’t feel good about my participation anymore. A pastime that once seemed harmless, if edgy and entertaining, now just seems skanky.

And while I don’t delude myself that it’s going to be easy, I’m ready to kick the habit. I’ve even decided to redirect my clicking to my favorite blogs, when the urge to surf the dark side becomes overwhelming.

Who’s with me?

Joining the ranks of motherhood

I have never been a joiner.

I skipped prenatal classes because I just knew I would end up being the snarky one in the back rolling my eyes instead of practicing my breathing and making wisecracks no one else found funny.

I can’t help it. I get really irritable when confronted by group mentality. Then I get sarcastic. Then people start to think I’m an asshole. And they’re usually right.

So even though everyone told me I should join a mom’s group after Graham was born, I was really reluctant. It just seemed cliché and kinda lame.

But I did feel a little lonely in those early days. Rob was working a lot. Graham was slow to gain weight the first few months of his life and there was some question of whether he had neurological problems. I was reading baby books and parenting web sites obsessively, praying his development was on target.

Wondering if he was normal.

Wondering if I was.

Then I chatted with a girl on this web site forum who seemed pretty cool. She was in Toronto. She and a bunch of new moms got together for coffee on a weekly basis. Did I want to join them?

I said okay. I immediately regretted it. A few days later, on my way out the door Rob cast a mock-disapproving eye on my pink, stiletto ankle boots: “You better not wear those.”

He was kidding. I changed anyway.

I didn’t know what to expect that day more than 20 months ago when I walked into that Riverdale coffee shop and sat down with the already established Cool East End Mommies group. I didn’t dare hope I would find friends there.

But I did. And more than that I found reflections of myself; I found women who were mostly confident, but still unsure if they were doing everything right, women who were hip, but not exactly sure how to wear the mommy label. I found women who were fun, interesting and most importantly, accepting.

I started to go on a regular basis and every week the Cool East End Mommies, this group I was initially so loath to join, gave me what I sought and then some.

I found other moms who had the same concerns and fears that I did. I found the confidence to trust my instincts. I found the things I improvised with Graham, the tricks I had learned, had real value. I learned that my birth story was just as unique as the next woman’s. I found that my anger at how it played out was valid.

And I found that this new person who had been evolving since Graham’s birth, this clothes-crazy writer/ pilot /wisearse/ mom was doing just fine. She was okay.

She was okay.

Graham was okay too and together with the Cool East End Mommies we had one of the best years of my life.

We had picnics in the park.


We went to Toronto Island. To the splash park. To the local drop-in, To the zoo.

I hosted two mom and baby pool parties where we drank sangria, and complimented each other’s bathing suits. We had girls’ nights out where we sipped wine and gossiped. Some of the girls brought their husbands to our big house party last summer .

What I found that day when I walked into that Riverdale coffee shop was something I didn’t even know I was looking for. I found people who could bear witness to the new person I was becoming. People in the middle of their own evolutions who could say convincingly, I get it. I get the worry. I get the fatigue. I get the down days. I get the confusion.

I get the wonder. I get the joy.

What I found that day was friends who I believe will be with me for years and years to come.

The Cool East End Mommies don’t really meet on a regular basis anymore. A lot of us have gone back to work. A few have moved away. Some have already had a second child and are impossibly pressed for time.

This past Sunday past we attempted a bit of a mini-reunion at the park but only a handful of people made it. Graham saw a few of his old friends but quite frankly didn’t seem all that impressed.

But I was. I saw just a few of my old friends and it was enough to set me to remembering those days, frozen in time, when together we discovered what it meant to join the ranks of motherhood.