Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Blessed

I was getting Graham ready for bed tonight when a thought popped unbidden into my mind.

I wonder if his Oma will drop by tonight to say goodnight to him?

And then it hit like a punch in the stomach: No, she won't. She won't drop by tonight or ever again.

But instead of breaking down yet again, I bit my lip and started to do what I have resolved to do from now on every time that the darkness threatens to descend upon me.

I counted my blessings.

I am blessed with a strong marriage and a husband who adores me.
I am blessed with a well-paid, challenging job that I enjoy.
I am blessed with wonderful family and friends.
I am blessed with readers who care enough about my well-being to leave heartfelt comments and send lovely, thoughtful e-mails.

I am blessed to know a love I never dreamed possible.



I am blessed.

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33 comments:

Deb said...

look at those eyes!!

yes, it is so easy to let the grief consume you... but you are so right... you have much to be thankful for!

and who knows? maybe oma WILL come by and visit graham tonight... just in a slightly different manner. : )

Amy @ Milk Breath and Margaritas said...

So you are!

I've got you all in my prayers. I also have a very close relationship with my mother-in-law and I can't imagine what you're going through.

A Crafty Mom said...

That is just one of the best pictures of him. That face - that big smile and those TEETH!!! :)

It's hard to remember all the blessings in the difficult times, but they will always be there.

p.s. and it's okay to break down, it's part of the process.

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

I still do that regarding my dad, and it's been 3 years since he passed away.

And I still have moments of such deep grief, so I will try what you do, and think about everything good in my life.

flutter said...

She's always there, she gets to see his joy all the time now

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

You are blessed.

I remember picking up the phone to dial my mother. I was halfway through before I remembered.

Vered - MomGrind said...

You ARE blessed and it's wonderful that you had the strength to acknowledge that.

Headless Mom said...

Yes you are, new friend!

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

You are blessed with a big and tender heart, too.

emma said...

Maybe she'll come to him in his dreams.

You are, indeed, blessed.

Beth (A Mom's Life) said...

You truly are blessed! I am continuing to pray for you.

Karen said...

I love that you're focusing on the positive. Graham will follow your lead in that. You're both blessed.

Chantal said...

blessed indeed! Hugs.

Melisa with one S said...

Yes! Keep counting those blessings!

kgirl said...

He's such a cutie. But I know, those blows hurt. And they have a way of sneaking up on you.

Jaina said...

You are indeed. :)

imbeingheldhostage said...

I just caught up, I read back to the 15th. I am so sorry for your your loss.

You are blessed and your determination to count those blessings says a lot about you. Looking at her through your eyes--SHE was blessed. Most of us can only dream of making an impact like that someone's life. You have honoured her beautifully through these posts.
Blessings (and prayers),

J

Leanne said...

Yep. I do this too. When I feel like the world is coming down on me I remember the same things you listed here. We are truly blessed.
Good luck with the happy thoughts...it's tough at times.

Cheffie-Mom said...

Yes, you are very blessed. The photo of your son is precious!

Mandy said...

A warm fuzzy post!

Heather said...

Good for you for trying to focus on the positives. But you have to give yourself time to grieve too.

Aunt Becky said...

*hugs*

Karen MEG said...

You are blessed, and look at that handsome little guy.

You know, as odd as it seems, I too took a step back and have continued to do so every day since my Dad passed. It does make you think and count your blessings for what and who you have; I think you really need it to help you deal.

And your family are very blessed to have YOU as well.

Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

You ARE blessed. You had a mother in law who not only loved you, she loved you like a daughter. That is a treasure that most women never experience, no matter how prematurely the relationship was cut off.

And Oma IS kissing him goodnight. She is surrounding you all...

BlondeMomBlog (Jamie) said...

You are indeed. And I agree that Oma is looking over you all.

I love that photo by the way.

Clare said...

oh my gosh, he is just so cute and you definitely are blessed!!

zelzee said...

You will get past it.

You will never get over it.

That's why God sends you so many blessings.

mamatulip said...

Thinking of you, Kelly.

Wendy said...

You have such a great attitude. Hang in there!

Barrie said...

The first year is very definitely the toughest. xo

Parent Club said...

You are so good to remind us ALL - of the blessed people/things/events in our lives.

Thank you.

InTheFastLane said...

And you are blessed to have had your life touched by Oma.

Jen said...

*hugs*

You are very blessed indeed. I'm sure Oma is not far away.