tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post7488150410456305396..comments2024-01-30T12:13:22.632-05:00Comments on Don Mills Diva: Shy boy, my boyDon Mills Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03733674458423525738noreply@blogger.comBlogger60125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-62559515690962814702008-04-25T17:14:00.000-04:002008-04-25T17:14:00.000-04:00But maybe he will have other opportunities because...But maybe he will have other opportunities because he is shy. And maybe the women who appreciate shy guys will notice him. ;)Damselflyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00139191935886860839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-73123916544974137322008-04-24T22:09:00.000-04:002008-04-24T22:09:00.000-04:00My son was always the kid that hung back, that wou...My son was always the kid that hung back, that would just walk away if someone grabbed his toy, etc. My DH is a psychologist and I have a psychology background too. We were so worried about ego strength back then...now we can't get him to stop talking. He approaches strange adults to ask them questions. He leads all the play at recess in Kindergarten. Kids cry if they aren't put on his team in dodge ball. My friend's son wouldn't walk onto the basketball court in little league 3 months ago without her holding his hand, then suddenly 2 weeks ago, his Kindergarten teacher is calling her into the office to discuss his "disruptive behavior" (talking to the girl next to him) during class.<BR/><BR/>This too shall pass, and you will miss your shy, clingy little boy who liked nothing better than sitting on Mama's lap whiling away the afternoon.<BR/><BR/>Blessings,<BR/><BR/>JenJennifer @ Fruit of My Handshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11479983078312955832noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-87995641943307370332008-04-24T16:40:00.000-04:002008-04-24T16:40:00.000-04:00Kelly, I was shy, my boys were shy... guess what? ...Kelly, I was shy, my boys were shy... guess what? We all grew out of it. Graham will to and you know why? Because he has the love and security of his parents telling him every day that is someone special.<BR/><BR/>:-)Kamis Khlopchykhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10891667631830654830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-69362386403108061282008-04-24T11:18:00.000-04:002008-04-24T11:18:00.000-04:00Oh, girl. I know what you mean. I just put up a ...Oh, girl. I know what you mean. I just put up a two-part post on a very similar experience this week.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-13850620543968801852008-04-24T09:01:00.000-04:002008-04-24T09:01:00.000-04:00That face is priceless.That face is priceless.Annahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10200862900705676776noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-63794699830425415122008-04-24T07:29:00.000-04:002008-04-24T07:29:00.000-04:00My father was quiet and shy when he was young. Af...My father was quiet and shy when he was young. After college he became a pastor, and one of the things he had difficulty doing at first was initiate conversations with people. Now he is the most garrulous grandfatherly type you could ever meet. Talks to EVERYONE.<BR/><BR/>My point being that we learn skills gradually over the course of our lives, sometimes not till adulthood, but we always have the opportunity to learn. And the learning is easier when we have families who love us and support our endeavors, so I think your boy will do just fine.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-35324552783827504262008-04-23T23:33:00.001-04:002008-04-23T23:33:00.001-04:00You could totally be describing my son. He is supe...You could totally be describing my son. He is super shy outside, but a wild man at home. I worry about the same things you do. But, know in my heart he will find his own way.ConverseMommahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09964215682943025507noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-84428468133404534982008-04-23T23:33:00.000-04:002008-04-23T23:33:00.000-04:00You could totally be describing my son. He is supe...You could totally be describing my son. He is super shy outside, but a wild man at home. I worry about the same things you do. But, know in my heart he will find his own way.ConverseMommahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09964215682943025507noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-6769831352454717002008-04-23T22:29:00.000-04:002008-04-23T22:29:00.000-04:00You know, it doesn't surprise me that your husband...You know, it doesn't surprise me that your husband was shy. For some reason I just knew that from the pictures I've seen. And I think Graham is a lot like his daddy. He'll find his own way.Karenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09037928148778848386noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-43649842269125999882008-04-23T20:08:00.000-04:002008-04-23T20:08:00.000-04:00I have felt those same fears at different times wi...I have felt those same fears at different times with my kids. They seem to go in phases. <BR/><BR/>My husband was painfully shy. In some situations he still is. I don't think he missed out. He just had to find people that understood him and that he felt comfortable enough to be himself around.<BR/><BR/>Your son is ADORABLE.Cecily Rhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01833641996572085518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-66295754116928201542008-04-23T19:50:00.000-04:002008-04-23T19:50:00.000-04:00He's such a cutie pie!He's such a cutie pie!contemporary themeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04810901901438064698noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-14636582268942363752008-04-23T18:51:00.000-04:002008-04-23T18:51:00.000-04:00NO WAY! Nothing a little brain washing won't take...NO WAY! Nothing a little brain washing won't take care of. I tell my very shy boy very matter of factly, "The shy ones always miss out on the good stuff!" I pretend I'm not looking at him, thinking hard about this. I was shy. I tell him what I missed out on. I pretend that shy is only a state of mind, not a personality type. It seems to be working. It motivates when I know he'd rather curl up with me and I with him.Woman in a Windowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14747858840088922077noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-81431231369977526372008-04-23T18:45:00.000-04:002008-04-23T18:45:00.000-04:00Oh, I don't know. I've never been impressed by the...Oh, I don't know. I've never been impressed by the loud and flashy guys - I prefer a solid guy who you can be friends with as well as lovers, and I'm not alone among my friends. I would think it just means that he finds someone who gets him, not someone who is just drawn by surface attraction. And isn't that a great thing in the long run?kittenpiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05215443551546036909noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-38970945440643253512008-04-23T18:42:00.000-04:002008-04-23T18:42:00.000-04:00Kelly. Nice quotes on globeandmail. It was a gre...Kelly. Nice quotes on globeandmail. It was a great article.OHmommyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12712111068636100187noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-75711306436673494042008-04-23T18:39:00.000-04:002008-04-23T18:39:00.000-04:00I am not sure if you intended it, but my impressio...I am not sure if you intended it, but my impression is that you view "shyness" or introversion as something almost pathological - and extroversion (confused as "confidence") as "normal". I see this view expressed a lot, and as an introvert, quite frankly, it bothers me. There are many confident introverts - people who simply don't want to live their lives out there in the chaos and mayhem. When called upon, I can "join in" with the best of them - but it feels like I am a performing monkey, and it is exhausting. It was a skill that I learned as I matured, and I'm sure many other posters who talk about "growing out of shyness" can relate. <BR/><BR/>Continue to love your son for who he is, not who you want him to be, and help him appreciate his many great qualities. Accept that his personality is different, but not abnormal. Don't pressure him to be social - let him develop it at his own pace. <BR/><BR/>I am left asking, why is extreme extroversion appreciated and encouraged in our culture, and not viewed as abnormal, unlike extreme introversion?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-89320067460857349012008-04-23T17:43:00.000-04:002008-04-23T17:43:00.000-04:00My 7 year old was like that EXACTLY... he hit 1st ...My 7 year old was like that EXACTLY... he hit 1st grade, and now he gets notes sent home about talking too much. He literally changed overnight.<BR/><BR/>weird.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-9821838895077330762008-04-23T17:02:00.000-04:002008-04-23T17:02:00.000-04:00Thank you for the nice comment! It made my day!Lit...Thank you for the nice comment! It made my day!<BR/><BR/>Little Monster isn't shy all of the time, but when he is it astounds me. Even if yours stays shy though, that's who the good girls find eventually! I married a shy guy. :) Because we wise up and grow up faster than the shallow girls! ;-)Momma Maryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09696048453973147293noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-26222973365834263402008-04-23T16:37:00.000-04:002008-04-23T16:37:00.000-04:00I was a very shy little girl. I would not join in ...I was a very shy little girl. I would not join in with groups and often ended up at the sidelines by default. It effected me socially, but not to the point where I wouldn't join activities (like Girl Scouts, baseball and peewee cheerleading), but I was shy while I was there. I guess I did miss an opportunity or two due to lack of social confidence, but here I am married to a lovely man (who's an extrovert), I have a good job/career and life-long friends. I've noticed that all my good friends (and now my husband) are mostly extroverts. We balance each other out, and in their company I've always been more at ease in social situations.Anne B.https://www.blogger.com/profile/17629983030415265281noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-5435796596487252752008-04-23T16:36:00.000-04:002008-04-23T16:36:00.000-04:00He's not ready to be in the world is all. Some ki...He's not ready to be in the world is all. Some kids transition womb to world more slowly. They need to expand their boundaries from womb to mommy's bed, to house, to yard and eventually they can add park and school. I have raised every kind and some of them need us more. <BR/>I too am raising my husband. My husband is hilarious and brilliant and beautiful...and he has a bit of a negative view. We used to say our youngest son was an existentialist and would probably be reading Camus in the first grade. So we made a bright side chart and talked about looking at the bright side. When he chose the bright side, or even noticed that there was a choice, he got a sticker and ten sunny stickers got a reach into the prize bag. At 12 he is much more positive than his dad and defaults to yes way more than no. Maybe a brave chart could help graham get in the habit of taking those hard steps....<BR/>No matter what he is well loved and will find his way with you guys at his side...Ehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11236233879828469590noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-76587159417434545722008-04-23T15:53:00.000-04:002008-04-23T15:53:00.000-04:00First, hugs, hon. I had a boy that was shy. He wou...First, hugs, hon. I had a boy that was shy. He would sit on the edge of the playgroup, watching. Just watching until the very end, and then finally start to play as it was time to go... broke my heart. But he just took longer to warm up. And honestly? Now, at 9? He is super social and friendly. <BR/><BR/>Sometimes the shy ones surprise you. Sometimes taking your time and thinking before you act is the better choice. Graham WILL fully experience life, but it will be HIS life... his choices may be different than yours, but you will teach him to follow his heart, and he will blossom!! Just wait and see...tracey.becker1@gmail.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09606831315390042198noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-71053391855838024052008-04-23T15:14:00.000-04:002008-04-23T15:14:00.000-04:00You write the best posts, Kelly!! REally! I have...You write the best posts, Kelly!! REally! I have 4 kids that are ALL extroverts an I am amazed. I was a shy child and adult - until I had kids. They brought out the other side of me that was hidden away for so many years. I was, however, always - confident! Always! All of my kids are confident. I am amazed by how similar all my kids are and how they are a bit of me and bit of my husband. It's interesting to see how they are going to make their way in the world - who they are going to be. I think your sweet boy will see the confidence in his mother and father and he will be THAT. You just wait and see.<BR/><BR/>Have a good evening - nice to see you today. KellanKellanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07882991320065439298noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-42586482822323922102008-04-23T15:10:00.000-04:002008-04-23T15:10:00.000-04:00The truly wonderful women, like yourself, will dis...The truly wonderful women, like yourself, will discover your young man one day. The bravado and macho loud behavior lasts less than 15 minutes in life before the glow of wit and wisdom, and quiet introspective thoughts shine through the load Frat boy's and their yelping.<BR/>Nothing will pass him by with two wonderful parents like he has.Davidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02250044610162724765noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-69279038548384398652008-04-23T14:22:00.000-04:002008-04-23T14:22:00.000-04:00Great post. My son is shy too. I always worry abou...Great post. My son is shy too. I always worry about him. As I finished your blog, your last paragraph touched me. If he is shy he may experience life in a different way. He may miss out on some things but he might find gratification in areas some of us outgoing people miss.Indyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05544675666827041726noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-47857732274976256692008-04-23T14:04:00.000-04:002008-04-23T14:04:00.000-04:00Great post! I totally agree that confidence is on...Great post! I totally agree that confidence is one of the most important attributes to have. Some times it just takes a little longer for some to find theirs. <BR/>He'll find it.......he will :)Maryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08005741469767391721noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-44706421637148591182008-04-23T13:43:00.000-04:002008-04-23T13:43:00.000-04:00Great post!I wouldn't worry to much (easier said t...Great post!<BR/><BR/>I wouldn't worry to much (easier said then done). Graham is young and his personality is still developing. In kindergarten my daughter was so shy she was given a poor grade in music, because she was to shy to even partipate during class. Now she is in second grade, and she recently received a leadership award at school.Blessings From Abovehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02378093166321936103noreply@blogger.com