tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post5984183499482003434..comments2024-01-30T12:13:22.632-05:00Comments on Don Mills Diva: Kicking Freud out of the tubDon Mills Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03733674458423525738noreply@blogger.comBlogger57125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-53049081597685101752008-03-13T18:29:00.000-04:002008-03-13T18:29:00.000-04:00You are incredibly wise and I agree with you 100%....You are incredibly wise and I agree with you 100%. It always bugs me when Americans (and I am one, but grew up overseas)freak out over a little girl not wearing a top at the beach. Come on people, what is she...3?JCKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04582581376724478366noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-52376467461149755202008-03-01T14:05:00.000-05:002008-03-01T14:05:00.000-05:00You seem to be a mother with a good head on your s...You seem to be a mother with a good head on your shoulders - use common sense! My son was about 2 years old when he pulled up my t-shirt on a bus and yelled "Whatcha got here!" - This was in the early 80's and I think the lady behind me had a coronary - while I laughed it off for what it was.<BR/>The less uptight and anal we as grown-ups are, the less of a big deal nakedness will be for our children. Like someone already pointed out - even with children in the lower grades it's almost impossible to go to the bathroom behind a closed door.Allmyckehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03618880904953965190noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-53251817208992111402008-02-26T21:59:00.000-05:002008-02-26T21:59:00.000-05:00This was a great post!! I struggle with this too....This was a great post!! I struggle with this too...and my oldest is seven. Ack.Victoriahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15898415128748687415noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-55769835987504730822008-02-26T11:29:00.000-05:002008-02-26T11:29:00.000-05:00Misterpie and I trade back and forth bedtime dutie...Misterpie and I trade back and forth bedtime duties, and it usually means him taking the bath with her. He still usually gets in with her, but we have none of those silly tub shots of her in the bath, because while we think it's okay, he is worried what someone else mgiht think, if they saw that he was in there with her - someone who doesn't know him and might think it strange. At nearly fourm, though, we are starting to let her have baths without either of us in there some of the time, partly because we know that time will come when it won't be so appropriate, and partly because, well, she is taking up more of the tub these days! On tired nights, though, she likes to sit cuddled on a knee while getting clean. I think it's okay for a short while longer, maybe about a year?kittenpiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05215443551546036909noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-15576902725500604322008-02-25T11:21:00.000-05:002008-02-25T11:21:00.000-05:00I've spent my entire life self-conscious of my bod...I've spent my entire life self-conscious of my body, and never felt like it would be okay in my family to ask questions about my body, or sex or anything of the like. I knew as soon as our first child was born, I didn't want her worrying about her body, and I wanted her to feel comfortable coming and talking to me/us about ANYTHING. We therefore made the decision that we weren't going to worry about being modest around our children, and they've all three been in the shower with one or the other of us, and they've asked plenty of questions about their bodies and ours, and they know all the appropriate names for teh body parts and we never make it an issue. They ask a question, we answer it simply, but to the point, and move on. No giggling, no avoiding the questions. My children are comfortable in their own skin (and I hope it stays that way), and I'm learning how to be comfortable in mine. I think what you're doing is perfectly fine, and kudos to you for putting your child ahead of your own uncomfortableness (is that a word??) LOL There doesn't have to be anything sexual about nudity and like you, I refuse to force my children into grown up attitudes about it, at such young ages. Of course, there are limits, and we certainly don't let them run around nude when company is over or we're out in public, but in the privacy of our own home, in the company of our intermediate loving family, I have no issues with it.<BR/><BR/>Thank you for this post! It's nice to see my family is not aloneLeahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13160551209809872319noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-17693166520595845582008-02-24T22:09:00.000-05:002008-02-24T22:09:00.000-05:00A terrific, and thought-provoking post. we used to...A terrific, and thought-provoking post. <BR/><BR/>we used to bathe as a family, and recently we haven't. Peanut is only 16-months old, but I think, already, Mr Babbler is starting to feel that invisible wall going up.<BR/><BR/>It's sad, really.b*babblerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17494191160073990465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-76864175190488794552008-02-23T23:24:00.000-05:002008-02-23T23:24:00.000-05:00Wow. Now I feel REAlly uptight. I do still shower...Wow. Now I feel REAlly uptight. I do still shower with my 7-year-old daughter. But she spends a lot of time looking and commenting. It makes me uncomfortable, mostly because I'm already uncomfortable with my body.<BR/><BR/>How do you get so many comments??MamaColehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09876053127361785592noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-31122705930864517862008-02-23T08:27:00.000-05:002008-02-23T08:27:00.000-05:00My boys are 7 and almost 5. They see me naked wee...My boys are 7 and almost 5. They see me naked weekly - getting in or out of the shower after them, getting dressed in the morning, whatever. I just don't see it as a big deal. We've covered all the breast / nipple discussions and why don't you have a penis. <BR/><BR/>They are comfortable with thier bodies and I am comfortable with mine. I suspect there will be a time when we'll both choose to have more privacy...but we haven't hit that point yet.MBA Mommyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16769923671983717888noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-17464515732676916372008-02-22T12:37:00.000-05:002008-02-22T12:37:00.000-05:00Yes, at 4 and 2, my kids still see both of us nake...Yes, at 4 and 2, my kids still see both of us naked all the time. Son (4) loves to shower with me. He and his little sister bathe together. No one ever gets to use the potty alone...he needs help wiping, she needs help even just sitting there, and Husband and I simply <I>must</I> be asked approximately 1000 questions while we are in that little room. I imagine this will change as they begin to feel more of a need for privacy, but as to when that will happen? Hard to say. They think bathrooms are public places anyway b/c their daycare has potties without stalls, so who knows.<BR/><BR/>I totally agree that we over-sexualize and overdo the modesty thing. At some point there will be boundaries, but since Son still seems to be convinced I have a penis (he refers to it sometimes, though he's clearly never seen it!), I'm guessing we're a bit away from those days yet.<BR/><BR/>Thanks, as always, for being so thought provoking.MommyTimehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12860003098383600806noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-25480001204673383962008-02-21T21:19:00.000-05:002008-02-21T21:19:00.000-05:00I blogged about the very topic recently. My kids ...I blogged about the very topic recently. My kids are 3 and 4...my son is older. I still bathe them together. If we use my mongo tub, I will even get in with them. My son was the one asking all the questions. We address each one and move on. Sadly enough we are starting to talk about inappropriate touch....who can and can't touch them, etc.tommiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09744207550343647140noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-18663650019007968642008-02-21T20:59:00.000-05:002008-02-21T20:59:00.000-05:00I'm pretty open about my body with my kids, my hus...I'm pretty open about my body with my kids, my husband is not. We figure when anyone becomes uncomfortable with the situation, it's time to stop. But as long as we don't feel uncomfortable I don't care if my kids see me naked.Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01979925607834752536noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-58946155687176061262008-02-21T20:35:00.000-05:002008-02-21T20:35:00.000-05:00Nice post -- I found you via BlogHer. I agree with...Nice post -- I found you via BlogHer. I agree with e that we can take our cues from our children. <BR/><BR/>Also, your post made me think of a book I read my son was around 15 months old (he's four and a half now) -- it was called "The Vital Touch: How Intimate Contact With Your Baby Leads To Happier, Healthier Development". It really illustrates how our North American cultures oversexualize close contact (a la the baby book you cite).<BR/><BR/>It was a lovely book that inspired me to keep close contact with my children (while setting boundaries as needed).Stacy @ Sweet Skyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02468340546742327741noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-26072845511308269472008-02-21T16:46:00.000-05:002008-02-21T16:46:00.000-05:00My son is 3 1/2. Our house is small. The only wa...My son is 3 1/2. Our house is small. The only way I would get a shower without him seeing me naked would be to lock the door and if I did that, he'd probably set something on fire. We have talked some about things being private and what other people are not allowed to touch, but I don't want to give him the idea that the human body is shameful.Kayrishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15397302130308197831noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-41734776111239300752008-02-21T13:58:00.001-05:002008-02-21T13:58:00.001-05:00My kids are 22, 18 and 12. With the oldest two ar...My kids are 22, 18 and 12. With the oldest two around 12 or so we curbed being naked a bit as they had modest phases. My current twelve year old, who has been here with the big kids who are very at ease in their skin, and run through in towels, or pee when the someone else happens to be in the shower etc...only says things like Mom Timmy is here, so if you are taking a bath take some clothes in...<BR/>I took baths with our oldest boy til he was about 5 and we just couldn't fit anymore. Our daughter wanted a bath "all by myself" when she was just three. I think we can take our cues from them.<BR/>I loved this post...Ehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11236233879828469590noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-58522834855606186932008-02-21T13:58:00.000-05:002008-02-21T13:58:00.000-05:00That's funny, I was just wondering about this myse...That's funny, I was just wondering about this myself. I don't have time to read all the many comments, so I may be repeating here but I do think that we make a big deal out of nakedness for no real reason. It shouldn't be shameful, should it?Run ANChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06088821030860597465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-25508935417213992922008-02-21T12:43:00.000-05:002008-02-21T12:43:00.000-05:00I really love your writing. I'm glad you discovere...I really love your writing. I'm glad you discovered me, so I could discover you!<BR/><BR/>When my Social Butterfly was just 3she went to visit our neighbors, who were an amazing couple in their fifties with no kids. She didn't let a little thing like an unanswered door stop her. She walked right in. In fact, she kept walking until she discovered them in the shower together. They were totally calm, and told her to wait in the living room, they'd be right out.<BR/><BR/>Of course we laughed about it like crazy, but I remember my friend saying, "We were so impressed that she did not get freaked out by seeing naked people."<BR/><BR/>You'll know when it's time to cover up; he'll let you know.<BR/><BR/>(Just so you don't call CPS, we live in a small cul-de-sac, and her siblings were outside with her!).Jenn @ Juggling Lifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14455967210924573398noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-85929892527920672502008-02-21T10:32:00.000-05:002008-02-21T10:32:00.000-05:00Excellent post. Isn't it a shame when something so...Excellent post. Isn't it a shame when something so wonderful and so natural can be turned into something it is not? <BR/><BR/>I can't wait to pull little J in the tub with me . . . right now he'd slip right out of my hands, but pretty soon we'll be having some bubbly fun!!!Laskihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12001998549713092381noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-8237478220828588772008-02-21T08:21:00.000-05:002008-02-21T08:21:00.000-05:00Thanks for stopping by my blog. Interesting post....Thanks for stopping by my blog. Interesting post. I would have to say I agree some but not entirely. But very interesting topic thoughRebekahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17065188969643402603noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-23071768953921784142008-02-21T06:08:00.000-05:002008-02-21T06:08:00.000-05:00I guess each person has his/her own comfort level....I guess each person has his/her own comfort level. Some do not mind being naked in front of their kids while others prefer more privacy. Just follow our own instincts and I think we would be fine.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-69267099211647669712008-02-20T23:42:00.000-05:002008-02-20T23:42:00.000-05:00When ever my 32 month old hears the shower running...When ever my 32 month old hears the shower running, she strips down and insists on joining. I love it!Amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05199941051691469813noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-90873308557660088272008-02-20T23:26:00.000-05:002008-02-20T23:26:00.000-05:00Amen sista!My little one still asks to nurse when ...Amen sista!<BR/><BR/>My little one still asks to nurse when she sees my breasts.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02414405825215814113noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-4962998638162729272008-02-20T22:53:00.000-05:002008-02-20T22:53:00.000-05:00I totally agree with you on this subject. Thanks f...I totally agree with you on this subject. Thanks for bringing the subject up.Mariahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13064271466583841630noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-6269920742767830732008-02-20T22:40:00.000-05:002008-02-20T22:40:00.000-05:00I have never really thought about this. I guess w...I have never really thought about this. I guess we're all pretty open with the naked thing. <BR/><BR/>I think when they're ready they'll naturally look for more privacy, until then....<BR/><BR/>(good post btw)shayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17522348931524449221noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-37766482225643675722008-02-20T21:36:00.000-05:002008-02-20T21:36:00.000-05:00Could not agree more. Besides, I'm lazy. If I co...Could not agree more. Besides, I'm lazy. If I couldn't shower with my kid I'd have to actually bathe her. Too much work for someone else's hangups.Chicky Chicky Babyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18056206889322232109noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-38333283923161993102008-02-20T21:29:00.000-05:002008-02-20T21:29:00.000-05:00What a great post! I can't believe I haven't been...What a great post! I can't believe I haven't been here before! And I've seen you all over the blogosphere...why haven't I ever stopped by to say hello before????<BR/><BR/>Anyways...great post...oh shit, I already said that...I couldn't agree more with what you said here. Really. So well said.<BR/><BR/>You'll see me again =)LunaNikhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13981677669711596784noreply@blogger.com