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REL="nofollow">A片</A>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-44692472754361124902009-04-04T10:06:00.000-04:002009-04-04T10:06:00.000-04:00Hi Kelly,First, I have to thank you for all the wo...Hi Kelly,<BR/>First, I have to thank you for all the wonderful posts I so enjoy reading them!!<BR/>As you probably know, like Robbie(sorry some names can't change for me hehehe) I was brought up the same in a very Catholic household and I have really always counted myself lucky. It has instilled in me a deep seated feeling of trust and faith.I know the world is a hectic place but when good or bad things happen, I find that because of it I can find the quiet time within myself talking to God. It does bring comfort in bad times when you feel that loss of control of things happening too fast around you..... or not the way you feel it should be...that is when I take a moment to quiet down within myself and say..."Lord I don't know why these things are happening and I don't know what to do, please help me to accept it and please take care of it, help me do and say what's right. I know you always do what is best for me!" <BR/>Sometimes it feels like he doesn't do what we want when we want, but then sometimes we don't know what's good for us either....or the outcome down the road.<BR/>I don't beleive that going to church is the be all end all, but the church inside of you whispers to you all the time. It just depends on if your willing to listen.<BR/>You are an awesome person and you will do what is best for your son because you Love him and you know what he needs. You can always ask Robbie to share with Graham if you are unsure and be there with them so you can be part of it....just my thoughts for you to ponder on...<BR/>Love you all...your western cousin.<BR/>MoniqueMoniquenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-37943722169265481872009-04-03T21:08:00.000-04:002009-04-03T21:08:00.000-04:00I think that even though you'll want to eventually...I think that even though you'll want to eventually, of course, discuss your views on religion and faith with your child, right now he needs to be surrounded by love and comfort. Whatever words you need to say to him right now are probably the right ones: if you're not comfortable talking to him about Heaven, then of course don't, but I do think that a gentle faith offers children a real and tangible comfort at times like this.Beckhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13953517447164263617noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-5833657622449150872009-04-02T17:25:00.000-04:002009-04-02T17:25:00.000-04:00I'm conflicted a bit here with you Kelly; I was ra...I'm conflicted a bit here with you Kelly; I was raised Catholic, my parents were very active in the church, kids are baptized... and I did pray to the high heavens both during and when we managed to get pregnant not once but twice. But I haven't been that active in the church in the last few years, my kids don't attend Catholic school, and hubs is borderline agnostic. <BR/><BR/>But I found through prayer during the weeks of Dad's illness and then after his death, especially during the funeral mass and services after ... quite comforting not just to me, but to the kids as well. We almost felt like he was in Church in with us. It helps answer some unanswerable questions for them; that Heaven is a safe house for their Grandpa, a place where he no longer feels so ill and he can be happy and free to look down on them and watch them grow up. <BR/><BR/>I hope Graham does find some comfort from some sort of explanation.Karen MEGhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10834425321020756655noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-77114618592688541242009-04-02T11:56:00.000-04:002009-04-02T11:56:00.000-04:00Kelly there's nothing hypocritical about searching...Kelly there's nothing hypocritical about searching for God, especially in this particular instance. Sometimes it takes getting to that really hard place to be inspired to faith. When you get so far into the darkness and the world seems to be caving in, sometimes that's when we need to reach out and remember that we aren't alone. It's never bad to reach out like that. It's quite the opposite. You would not be a hypocrite to start teaching Graham about God. Maybe it's exactly what you both need. ::hugs::Jainahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05666481569069955190noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-88817747051704478672009-04-02T08:51:00.000-04:002009-04-02T08:51:00.000-04:00Nah, it'll be for both of you. Many people who cla...Nah, it'll be for both of you. Many people who claim to be "not religious" feel a deep-seated need to find a more active faith when their kids are starting to be little people with questions. I think when a kid is a toddler they can't grasp a lot of those ideas about faith anyway, so Graham won't suffer for it in the end, even if you start educating him now. :) xoxoMelisa Wellshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14252498482861679154noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-9565472449369598972009-04-01T22:54:00.000-04:002009-04-01T22:54:00.000-04:00I loved Mr Lady's comment too - what a beautiful t...I loved Mr Lady's comment too - what a beautiful thing to explain to a child. I wouldn't worry too much, this is very common in today's society - even for both parents to be of different beliefs/religious backgrounds - and Graham will figure out his own faith over time. All you can do is answer any questions he has the best you can.<BR/><BR/>It is a young age to really "get it". My middle son (same age as Graham) doesn't really understand God or a lot of other religious concepts. He knows his auntie's dog went to "dog heaven" and that's about as far as we could get.A Crafty Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08530128828277207683noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-41434297378730056582009-04-01T21:14:00.000-04:002009-04-01T21:14:00.000-04:00I think it's a great opportunity for Graham to hea...I think it's a great opportunity for Graham to hear that dear woman's beliefs. And then you can tell him that yes, that is what she believes. And you tend to believe in more undefined things. And there are yet others that believe in completely different ideas. A dialogue will be opened and he'll start formulating what fits for him. He'll find his own comfort. It's natural for us to do that. Kids are amazing that way!Woman in a Windowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14747858840088922077noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-83530748347280735482009-04-01T11:12:00.000-04:002009-04-01T11:12:00.000-04:00I was raised in a fairly religious household and n...I was raised in a fairly religious household and neither me nor my two sibs are religious now. My kids were baptized (husband wanted it) and I have said I would support them and him if they wanted to go to church, but I would NOT be the one taking them all over the place every week. So- it didn't happen. Interestingly, my older two have both given something up for Lent - I didn't even know they knew about Lent!Expat mumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17798190669591053390noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-8790100972815650672009-03-31T23:32:00.000-04:002009-03-31T23:32:00.000-04:00Sounds to me like you are ready to figure out what...Sounds to me like you are ready to figure out what isn't just easy, but feels right too. <BR/><BR/>I was raised Catholic, and am very Catholic now, but I have spent a lot of time making that decision and (in certain ways) disagreeing with some Catholics here on earth. No Church is ever perfect because they are all run by God's children, not God Himself. That doesn't make them bad, just reflections of us. <BR/><BR/>Good luck (and I am not just saying that).MIT Mommyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08793376511596741906noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-32063716466441763312009-03-31T23:16:00.000-04:002009-03-31T23:16:00.000-04:00I think it lovely that you are open to someone tal...I think it lovely that you are open to someone talking to him about what it means. At least their interpretation. You have an interpretation, too, that is important. You just have to find the words to share it with Graham.JCKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04582581376724478366noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-55700045641838452082009-03-31T18:37:00.000-04:002009-03-31T18:37:00.000-04:00Whatever you do or don't teach Graham now, he'll s...Whatever you do or don't teach Graham now, he'll search out his own answers as he gets older, as we all do. There's no wrong or right way to teach about a faith. In anything.emmahttp://www.pleasurenotes.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-1682113278737814602009-03-31T15:16:00.000-04:002009-03-31T15:16:00.000-04:00Oh I hear you!!! I think about what I should or sh...Oh I hear you!!! I think about what I should or shouldn't be doing with Dude and Princess as far as religion every day. I'm a recovering Catholic, as is my Hubby . . . our kids have been Baptised and that's it. No church.<BR/><BR/>It's tough.common momhttp://www.commonmom.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-59521719179947885932009-03-31T15:02:00.000-04:002009-03-31T15:02:00.000-04:00My husband and I are the opposite, I am religious,...My husband and I are the opposite, I am religious, he is not. Prayers for Graham and for your MIL's Memory to be Eternal.<BR/><BR/>The other day, my mom who is not religious said to me, "I admire that you can believe". It was a powerful statement, and humbling since, I fall get up, fall, get up ad nauseum.Mimihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02645484704486562810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-31457917977317823192009-03-31T11:39:00.000-04:002009-03-31T11:39:00.000-04:00It's about what you and your husband are comfortab...It's about what you and your husband are comfortable with. I would have a difficult time with someone else addressing anything religious with my kids because, chances are, we're not aligned. <BR/><BR/>If you are, than I'm sure Graham could use all the words of comfort he can get. As long as you believe what he's being told. We don't need to lie to or sugar-coat things for our kids. <BR/><BR/>When my dad died, we were very upfront with my daughter (her sister was 6 weeks from being born). There was no talk of god or heaven, because that's not our thing, but of a gentle lesson of death and what that means. It doesn't have to be scary. <BR/><BR/>The most important thing is to keep talking about your mother-in-law. She doesn't have to go away just because she's no longer with you.karengreenershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02488069680575426742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-58578948419271033712009-03-31T11:09:00.000-04:002009-03-31T11:09:00.000-04:00I didn't read the other comments, but here's my 2 ...I didn't read the other comments, but here's my 2 cents.<BR/><BR/>I have a whole theory that has helped each of my kids, especially at Graham's age, to understand what a soul is. I do not believe that we disappear when we die. I do believe that our energy continues on, somehow, in a form that we, as humans, simply cannot see. <BR/><BR/>But we can feel it. Like the wind, the soul is invisible and undefinable, but we can sense that it is just as real as the air moving around us.<BR/><BR/>On my blog, I have a post called "the balloon theory." Really, it has helped me explain to my kids my own views on what the universe is all about.tracey.becker1@gmail.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09606831315390042198noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-2569182070431092742009-03-31T10:12:00.000-04:002009-03-31T10:12:00.000-04:00I completely understand. I am trapped in that pla...I completely understand. I am trapped in that place right now. I feel like my son should know those things, but I don't exactly know what I feel about them - how can I pass on the knowledge if I don't have it?<BR/><BR/>I always feel like modern organized religion is about money. I do belong to a church (Catholic at that) and they send me donation envelopes and schedules that tell you how much you should give based on your family income. It's crazy really.Kellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02897358252031026173noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-59428264892240687202009-03-31T01:34:00.000-04:002009-03-31T01:34:00.000-04:00I have no idea how I would handle this with kids.....I have no idea how I would handle this with kids...I honestly don'tflutterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11828689769747130419noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-89928149317460056082009-03-30T22:30:00.000-04:002009-03-30T22:30:00.000-04:00i am a super duper catholic. and find comfort ther...i am a super duper catholic. and find comfort there.<BR/><BR/>however, on that note... what Mr. Lady said is pretty brilliant. there is a children's book i have, somewhere, i will email you the title. it is all about your inner spark.OHmommyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12712111068636100187noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-40176919875179700902009-03-30T21:11:00.000-04:002009-03-30T21:11:00.000-04:00I think that any time is a good time to search and...I think that any time is a good time to search and discover what you believe. It is a lifelong process. And be honest with your son, and yourself. It is okay to tell him that you don't know. Have Rob share his beliefs too. This will be a part of Graham's journey as well. <BR/>I truly believe in an infinitely loving God, who looks at our hearts and holds us when we are struggling. And I have truly been praying for you over this past year, and will continue to do so as you journey this life. <BR/>xo<BR/>KMighty Morphin' Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03244716672872427829noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-29870352563013229992009-03-30T21:06:00.000-04:002009-03-30T21:06:00.000-04:00I grew up in the American South---for my family, c...I grew up in the American South---for my family, church wasn't only about faith---it was social and a foundation on which to build a life. Today, I consider myself an Agnostic. I am comfortable without the presence of God in my life and find comfort in having faith in other things. I'm annoyed that Christians have co-opted that term to mean something it doesn't.<BR/><BR/>Over the years, I have decided I don't need organized religion. After the death of my dad in 2003, I didn't struggle at all with "Where is he?" I think he died and I don't know what happens after death.<BR/><BR/>I completely understand the confusion over having someone talk to Graham about God---I, too, would struggle with the good intentions of family friends. Totally normal. <BR/><BR/>You'll forge your own path, Kelly. You will. Have FAITH in yourself.The Redheaded Leftyhttp://www.theredheadedlefty.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-74078015635471731382009-03-30T19:23:00.000-04:002009-03-30T19:23:00.000-04:00I didn't grow up in a religious home, either, and ...I didn't grow up in a religious home, either, and I think it's hard to embrace religion in the same way as an adult. The people I know who are truly religious often have a childhood association, an emotional attachment. It <B>feels</B> right to them because it's something that's always been there.<BR/><BR/>Adopting these beliefs as an adult is harder. I tried really hard, and I couldn't get over my doubts. Having doubts when you're a member of a church you've always belonged to is much different than trying to convert while you're doubtful. How can you pledge allegiance to something you're unsure of?<BR/><BR/>But I'm also a mom, and I want my daughter to have something. So I attend a Unitarian church. No belief required, but we talk and learn about religion. My daughter is hearing what people believe and why, and I'm comfortable with it. It works for us.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-19230830589174388002009-03-30T17:45:00.000-04:002009-03-30T17:45:00.000-04:00You're very brave for bringing up the subject, but...You're very brave for bringing up the subject, but the discussion seems very civilized. I love Mr. Lady's description... I may steal it. <BR/><BR/>I hope that you find a path, whatever it may be, that is best for you, Graham and your family. <BR/><BR/>My thoughts have been with you these months.Mandyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14586323120994967027noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-43295512435807105242009-03-30T17:35:00.000-04:002009-03-30T17:35:00.000-04:00Oh dear, I could have written that post. I am very...Oh dear, I could have written that post. I am very much agnostic. I know more of what I don't believe than what I do. My husband is christian and it bothers him that I don't believe the way he does. My son goes to a christian daycare where he is taught about the bible but I have been honest with him and tell him that isn't what I believe. But I follow it up with, daddy does believe it and I tell him he is free to believe whatever he wants. When he wanted to pray for his grandma, I prayed with him. When we scattered her ashes I let him do it. He told me later that he was returning grandma to the earth and nature. He also says that she is in heaven, so I understand that he is forming his beliefs before my eyes. I don't correct him either way. <BR/>That is how I was raised. Believe what you want to believe, just be a good person.Autumnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08510723750496873429noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-20558612306418542182009-03-30T16:43:00.001-04:002009-03-30T16:43:00.001-04:00I'm with Angella and Amy. And I'm happy to...I'm with Angella and Amy. And I'm happy to answer questions if you'd like.<BR/><BR/>That said, all it takes is faith the size of a mustard seed, and God will do the rest. (I hope you don't mind the link to the bible passage, but it is what I spoke of above. Feel free to delete my comment if you feel uncomfortable with it.)<BR/><BR/>http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=47&chapter=17&verse=19&end_verse=21&version=31&context=contextI can't find my bloghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02613321200230079978noreply@blogger.com