"Damnit!" Graham blurted out last night when he spilled his orange juice.
I'd never heard him say that before and I was startled. It's pretty minor as far as swear words go, but not exactly what you expect to hear come out of your two-year-old's mouth.
"That's not really the nicest thing to say," I cautioned him, mopping up the mess. "It's better to just say something like shoot or darn."
"Sorry Mama, " Graham said. "I say shoot Mama."
"That's better sweetie," I said just a little smugly, feeling never more like June Cleaver. "Would you like some more juice?"
"No thank you Mama."
Could he BE any more polite? I smiled serenely and tousled his hair.
"Mama?"
"Yes Graham?"
"How 'bout a glass of wine?"
Damnit.
Hi-larious! He must have been stressed, what with the swearing and the drinking. :-)
ReplyDeleteThat seriously is the funniest thing out of a two year's mouth...
ReplyDeleteHow about some wine, Mama.
He rocks!
Haha, and what kind does he like? ;) Too funny.
ReplyDeleteHm. My daughter is always the one offering whine. Which I decline.
ReplyDeleteTeeheehee! How cute is he?!
ReplyDeleteMy two year old recently repeated my most used cuss word/phrase recently...
Her sister turned off the tv in the middle of her favorite dvd and she said...
jesus f*cking christ!
As you can imagine, I haven't said that since.
Too funny and cute!
ReplyDeleteMy eldest started saying "ucking elle"....wash my mouth out with soap!!!
Too funny!
ReplyDeleteThose perfect mom moments never last for long do they?
Dude, leave it to our kids to bring us hurtling back down to earth.
ReplyDeleteThat is so stinking funny. :-)
That is funny!
ReplyDeleteAt least he didn't ask for a smoke with his wine.
I love it! Tonite my son wanted to know what wine in his hot chocolate would taste like...Hmmmm. Now there's a thought.
ReplyDeleteOurs, when playing hostess at tea parties and such, includes beer in her list of beverage offerings. Of course, she also seems to the "what the heck" is a bad word, which suits me fine, excpet when she takes me to task for saying it. yes, she's getting into the age of Rules now. Whee.
ReplyDelete♡ How funny! Very cute how he apologized! :)
ReplyDeletehehehe Where do they get these things? *whistling innocently*
ReplyDeleteHow could you not absolutely be in love with that little boy? He will give you many more Graham-isms over the years. Take my advice: write them down. I've forgotten a lot of the ones my kids used to say...D
ReplyDeleteDon't you wish you had a video camera running 24/7?? (With the option of not showing some moments to the grandparents...) He's adorable!
ReplyDeletehello, you posted on my site so I thought I would check you out. I love what I am reading. Don't kids say the lovest things. My oldest went through the "F" word phase for a few days. I was really glad when it was over.
ReplyDeleteHA! Thanks, I needed a laugh tonight!
ReplyDeleteIf Graham is getting wine, then I want some too!!! :)
ReplyDeletebeen there...still doing that! and he's four! at two we had a problem with the s-word, also in the correct context. not good for where we are living! luckily, we got him out of the habit of saying it just before he started to go to a preschool program at a southern Baptist church. we already had enough problems going into the place, not being Baptist or a southerner...we didn't need to add the swearing!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laugh Kel. Too funny.
ReplyDeleteAhahahah! My little one also came up with dammit at that age. Fortunately, it was a very short-lived phase. He's never requested wine, although once he did tell me, as I leaned over to tuck him in bed during a big dinner party we were having, "You smell like wine, Mama." Nice.
ReplyDeleteI'm with Graham, bring on the wine!
ReplyDeleteThank you for the laugh. After a long day with the kids constantly fighting and bickering, I needed that.
ReplyDeleteI just have to say, you handled that so well. Cool. Calm. Perfection.
ReplyDeleteAnd the wine. At least he didn't ask for beer :)
He's a classy kiddo, that one.
And those manners . . . darling . . .
hahahahah if you can't beat them... join 'em. he's so cute!
ReplyDeleteI was worried for a minute there with the 'shoot mama' part...
ReplyDeleteMine all went through a swearing phase around 2 as well. I wonder where they got it....
I love it!
ReplyDeleteAnd wine.
*Off to pour a glass*
So, did you ask whether he liked red or white?
ReplyDeleteLil terd. :) Why is it so funny when little kids swear? I don't know why, but I love it...
ReplyDeleteThat is so funny!
ReplyDeleteWait, did he want some, or was he offering it to you??
ReplyDeleteOh I would LOVE to hear what he'd say if he spilled a glass of wine!
ReplyDeleteHA! i love it
ReplyDeleteWho have you been letting him hang out with? Oh - you! HA!
ReplyDeleteLove this! ; )
You are NO BETTER A MOTHER THAN I AM - HA!!! When Courtney and Chloe were little - like 2 1/2 one of them said damnit and the other said, "Mama, Courtney said that damnit word." Little Billy went to school with the 3 S's - Shit, Shut-up and Stupid - Shit he got from me and the other two from the twins. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your supportive and sweet comment this evening - I soooo appreciate it. And, you can buy me that drink and I will buy you one as well - we will raise our glasses to "The Loser-est Mom's Ever!" - well, that at least applies to me.
Take care and see you soon - Kellan
THANK YOU for the really great giggle just now. :) love you for it!
ReplyDeleteLOL. Motherhood: one step forward, 2 steps back!
ReplyDeleteLOL....I remember the first curse word Emma said....she was putting a puzzle together and couldn't find where one piece went. So she said "oh, s---!"
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely PERFECT! [huge smile] Don'tcha just love 'em!?
ReplyDeleteThank you for transforming an enthusiasm-lacking morning into a pleasant moment.
Lovingly ...
I read on Kellan's site that you WANT a mean commenter. For a small price (a PRADA bag perhaps?) I will come over here once a week and rip you a new one.
ReplyDeleteWhatcha think?
Hallie :)
So does her prefer white or red? I'm not exactly sure what goes with mac n cheese or nuggets.
ReplyDeleteThat is funny--I had to read it twice to be sure I got it right.
ReplyDeleteLove it!
Wow. They really do grow up fast, don't they? ;)
ReplyDeleteAt least he didn't specify RED or WHITE wine.
ReplyDeleteHe is growing up so fast. What they learn keep the faith he is still your baby.
ReplyDeleteMara
http://24stepstogo.blogspot.com/
well done!
ReplyDeletea boy after my own heart . . .
ReplyDeleteNothing makes me happier than cursing and drinking!
Wait until he tries that in a restaurant!
ReplyDeletethat's the funniest thing i've read in a while!
ReplyDeleteHa ha ha, that is to funny about the wine. I've heard mine say dammit before also. Now they tend to say things a little less offensive. At least in front of me.
ReplyDeleteDoes he prefer white or red? That's the real issue here. :)
ReplyDeleteOh my! I think he's got his mom's comedic talent!
ReplyDeleteToo funny!
oh man.. swearing, drinking? Um... blaming it on Sesame Street... yea.... Sesame Street :)
ReplyDeleteHow 'bout a damn glass of wine? That is the funniest thing I've read all day. At least he's got the proper use of it down....
ReplyDeleteFabulous. My daughter said dammit once at two and you'll be happy to hear it never came up again.
ReplyDeleteShe still asks for wine though. Eh, I give it to her.
Cussing and drinking at two? Good. Get it out of the way when he's young and his teenage years will be a breeze.
ReplyDeleteMy sons goes around telling people that he likes beer and coffee - What?! I swear, he had a sip of my decaf cooler and he's hooked.
ReplyDeleteHe might have tasted beer too, when I wasn't looking - sneaky kid~
We definitely can't get him and my son together. I see trouble in flashing lights!!
ReplyDeleteahaha. he is awesome!
ReplyDeleteYou should try the culture shock of moving to Quebec and listening to what comes out of the mouths of babes! Apparently, our English swear words have about as much impact to the French as saying "Holy Crumpets!" Actually, no, it would have to be just "Crumpets" because the 'Holy' part would get your mouth washed out with soap. *smile*
ReplyDeleteWell, isn't that the strangest thing. Wonder where he picked that up. I'd have a word with his daycare if I were you;)
ReplyDeleteThat is too funny! Polite, indeed.
ReplyDeleteBwahaha! So much for the June Cleaver moment.
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh, TOO CUTE!
ReplyDeleteMy angel once said, in the grocery line, in a particularly loud and darling shout, when I was buying four bottles of wine for a dinner party, (and we are mainly tea drinkers besides),
ReplyDeleteOh Mommy, wine again!
Just wait there is lots more on the way.....
Well trained. I love it.
ReplyDeleteNow that's my kind of boy.
ReplyDeleteHa! Love this one!
ReplyDeleteLOL-I remember when Keri was in CHRISTIAN daycare and asked the teacher, "What the hell is that?". When the teacher told me about it later I was so mortified. I did what any self respecting divorced, single mother would do....I blamed it on her father.
ReplyDeleteThat's just too funny!
ReplyDeleteAw, how cute is he?
ReplyDeleteDamn, I wish my kids would offer me wine ;)
Bwahahahah!!! He is such a cutie!
ReplyDeleteToo funny!!! I love it!
ReplyDeleteOh, PERFECT.
ReplyDeleteGreat story.
LOL.......too funny.
ReplyDeleteOh, that is priceless!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by my blog and leaving a message for my SIL. I've been playing in your archives and I think I'm hooked.
ReplyDeleteWeeeell, he could have specified the particular variety...
ReplyDeleteEddie Haskell! I love him. When I first brought home my now husband, my family called him Eddie Haskell. It passed though, he no longer feels the need to be polite to them.
ReplyDeleteHee hee, your secret is out. ;)
ReplyDelete"red or white?"
ReplyDelete;)
that's hilarious!
ReplyDelete