tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post6761271630022656750..comments2024-01-30T12:13:22.632-05:00Comments on Don Mills Diva: FailDon Mills Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03733674458423525738noreply@blogger.comBlogger63125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-83810888117279664722009-01-22T18:56:00.000-05:002009-01-22T18:56:00.000-05:00::hugs:: You're in my prayers. You will get throug...::hugs:: You're in my prayers. You will get through this.Jainahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05666481569069955190noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-85986240253906093062009-01-21T16:06:00.000-05:002009-01-21T16:06:00.000-05:00My Madison is 3. She STILL is not trained. It is...My Madison is 3. She STILL is not trained. It is defeat after defeat..she seems great, and then she goes backwards. She just started a new pre-school, even though they require kids to be fully trained, we are just keeping our fingers crossed that she won't have an accident while there. It is never really an accident though, it is fairly intentional. She refuses to sit on the potty for number 2, don't know why! We bought a brand new pink potty and she has started having less accidents in her panties and even did number 2 in the potty this morning! Maybe you can influence his desire to learn by getting him a cool potty and keeping it with you in whichever room you are in. We were having issues with her wetting her pants a lot during the day because it was too much trouble to tell us she had to go and wait for us to open a baby gate for her to get to the bathroom! This is easier for her and she seems to really like the one we got. Good luck. None of us are failures, our kids really seem to catch on at such varied speeds..no big deal. Hug to ya.iheartchocolatehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06506809401305000430noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-40388263595211714872009-01-20T22:27:00.000-05:002009-01-20T22:27:00.000-05:00Oh sweetie, you can only do what you can do. Give ...Oh sweetie, you can only do what you can do. Give yourself a break, you need it.<BR/>I am praying for you guys and your mom in law.<BR/>And you do not want to fight with him about the toilet, that is setting you both up for months of frustration. Leave it for a bit, let both of you take a breather and then try again. None of my boys were trained until after their 3rd birthdays. And then it was quick and easy. I refused to spend months cajoling a kid to use the toilet, especially once I knew that it could be done in a couple of days.<BR/>My second was reluctant, but was fascinated with the tiny toilets in the family bathroom at the mall. So I put him in underwear and took him to the mall for the day. Two days in a row. He had no choice but to use the toilet because I didn't bring any diapers. I didn't bug him about it, but we made numerous trips there and by the end of those 2 days he was trained. Done except for at night. Thank goodness! <BR/>When he is ready, it will go by quickly. <BR/>You are an amazing mom and I hope you can show yourself some grace and allow yourself to be human:)Mighty Morphin' Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03244716672872427829noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-85013318453672671062009-01-20T18:56:00.000-05:002009-01-20T18:56:00.000-05:00frist off....HUGS! I know that nothing I say will...frist off....HUGS! I know that nothing I say will change your feelings of failure. You just need to feel poorly about this for awhile, and that's okay. <BR/><BR/>I haven't read all the comments (cause wow, doggies, you got a lot), but I will say I was in the wait until she is ready camp, and proud of it. She was 38 months when she decided and just trained herself. no fuss...no muss. Just the way I like it. <BR/><BR/>I will wish you peace with whatever happens. You are a great mom!Corey~living and lovinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05719661119360487023noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-23150056088798226342009-01-19T23:04:00.000-05:002009-01-19T23:04:00.000-05:00this is a reflection on your potty training abili...this is a reflection on your potty training abilities, not your parenting abilities.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-19260063354637805412009-01-19T22:51:00.000-05:002009-01-19T22:51:00.000-05:00Don't be so hard on yourself! Lots of kids regress...Don't be so hard on yourself! Lots of kids regress on their own - the stress of other things in life right now makes it completely acceptable to let go a bit, too. He'll get there. One day, you'll be in a store and he'll see those Lightening McQueen underpants (or insert popular character of the moment *here*) and something will just CLICK.<BR/><BR/>Till then, relax. You have enough on your mind that's worthy of real worry!Colleen - Mommy Always Winshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06642830408176398204noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-16335051616006648482009-01-19T20:55:00.000-05:002009-01-19T20:55:00.000-05:00OMG, Kelly, I agree with the other commenters, don...OMG, Kelly, I agree with the other commenters, don't be so hard on yourself. No one can be a star parent every minute of every day. We have ups and downs and it's hard. Life is hard, and there will be other curve balls. We just do what we have to to survive. We go through difficult periods, and my kids will eat more junk food, watch more TV, fall into bad habits, but then we always come out of it and get back on track. <BR/><BR/>You will, too. It's inevitable. You're a fantastic mother, it's clear as day in your writing. He won't be in kindergarten in diapers, trust me. And no one will ever look back and even remember what month and what day he was suddenly potty trained. You'll look back and remember the fun times you had, and even the difficult times you had - and you'll remember how much strength and love you got from Graham when your mother-in-law was sick. <BR/><BR/>So go be lazy for a while, that's life. You're still a good mother :-)A Crafty Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08530128828277207683noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-5222541467692790042009-01-19T19:35:00.000-05:002009-01-19T19:35:00.000-05:00Cut yourself a break Diva! We all have times when...Cut yourself a break Diva! We all have times when we resort to shitty parenting and IT"S OKAY! You are a good parent I can tell from the thought and love that comes through on your blog, so don't sweat it, cut yourself a break and when you've got the energy give the kid an M&M every time he uses it (maybe 4 M&Ms for poo, that was my value system!) and never give him one at any other time. Well that worked for me anyway!Stomper Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04038937073264645029noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-3089765822524723032009-01-19T18:51:00.000-05:002009-01-19T18:51:00.000-05:00Oh dear. You've just a dip in the road to parenti...Oh dear. You've just a dip in the road to parenting. Sometimes there are simply things that are more important than fruit and underwear. Best to your mother-in-law. That's what's important.<BR/><BR/>(I took mine to the library and let them have a book rack beside the potty. They were reading and crapping at once. Beautiful, it was.)Woman in a Windowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14747858840088922077noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-75719573156333660262009-01-19T17:11:00.000-05:002009-01-19T17:11:00.000-05:00It's funny how the mean age for potty training kee...It's funny how the mean age for potty training keeps getting older, and the developmental norms are following suit. When I was a baby, a woman would be deemed by some as a bad mother if her child wasn't toilet trained by 2 years or younger. Now there are plenty of 3 year olds who aren't independent to the potty.<BR/><BR/>My feeling is that if toilet training is stressful for the parent, the child is probably too young. He probably won't go to college in diapers, and if he does there's probably something else going on besides just parenting, right?Jennifer @ Fruit of My Handshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11479983078312955832noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-43429646488575612002009-01-19T14:10:00.000-05:002009-01-19T14:10:00.000-05:00Toilet training is pretty much horrible. It really...Toilet training is pretty much horrible. It really, really is. <BR/>My only advice would be to switch him to cloth diapers - they're REALLY uncomfortable when they're wet, so he'll have more of an incentive to get dry faster. Reminding him that school starts next year, that he can't wear diapers there and that he wants to be there with all of the big kids might help, too.<BR/>But when did your husband and his siblings train? If they were later, he might just have an inherited immature bladder. Believe it or not, he WILL train eventually.Beckhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13953517447164263617noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-50001459613990693812009-01-19T12:47:00.000-05:002009-01-19T12:47:00.000-05:00This is not shitty parenting. This is parenting i...This is not shitty parenting. This is parenting in the face of a lot of stress and heartache. We get through things as best we can. Please don't use your valuable energy beating yourself up over this. <BR/><BR/>I'm thinking of you & your family.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-74299189524087766842009-01-19T11:20:00.000-05:002009-01-19T11:20:00.000-05:00Oh hon, please don't beat yourself up about this. ...Oh hon, please don't beat yourself up about this. I'm not gonna sugar coat it, potty training is hard. AND coupled with the fact that the WHOLE family is dealing with your MIL's illness only makes it harder I'm sure. <BR/><BR/>I was in a similar place with potty training last year at this time. And I think you are right to take a break from it. He WILL do it eventually and you ARE NOT a failure. You're just a mom, dealing with a lot and doing the best you can at this time.<BR/><BR/>Hugs.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01044279582701415786noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-59400514101267656812009-01-19T08:57:00.000-05:002009-01-19T08:57:00.000-05:00Oh dear. You are being all to hard on yourself he...Oh dear. You are being all to hard on yourself here.<BR/><BR/>My daughter was very hard to potty train until I finally took her out of the pull ups and put her in underwear, awaiting the accidents to occur. She never had an accident in her underwear. Even in her sleep. <BR/><BR/>Don't worry. He will be potty trained before you know it and then you can rejoice by throwing the diapers out the window. And I do understand how stress in your life has added to your potty woes. I lost my father in law a few months back and I have not been able to maintain our "once working" schedule yet. And when you have a child in 5th grade with mounds of homework a night, things get very stressful. Uggh.krissyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05072708898239563978noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-54161040443958862052009-01-19T07:33:00.000-05:002009-01-19T07:33:00.000-05:00Had to chuckle at Gwyneth Paltrow's comment. With ...Had to chuckle at Gwyneth Paltrow's comment. With a name like that, who wouldn't return her calls.Sasshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13697836741843809088noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-4630568544794750962009-01-19T04:30:00.000-05:002009-01-19T04:30:00.000-05:00Potty training isn't just about the child being re...Potty training isn't just about the child being ready. It's also about the parent having the time and headspace to deal with the inevitable refusals and accidents.<BR/><BR/>Sounds like it was a good idea to take a break from it all. <BR/><BR/>Best wishes for your mother in law. Keep having fun. <BR/><BR/>By the way, I was cursing myself for taking the side off Peaches' cot last night. I thought of you, Graham and the cot full of toys and thought - 'she's got the right idea'.Sasshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13697836741843809088noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-22548688825407486122009-01-18T20:38:00.000-05:002009-01-18T20:38:00.000-05:00Kelly, do not think for a minute that you're a fai...Kelly, do not think for a minute that you're a failure. Shitty parenting? No way! You're a wonderful mom, do not ever forget that.<BR/><BR/>There is stress in the family right now; I'm sure Graham senses it; it just may not be the right time for him, as it is another change in his life. It's something he has control over and he doesn't want to give it up. He just turned 3. Seriously, he will not be in diapers once he's in school. <BR/><BR/>I was lucky with my boy ... my Mom somehow used some ancient Chinese secret and he was fully toilet trained by 2. Little G finally got it a couple of days after she turned 3 ... while I've been home with her. Talk about the pressure!!! My mom was on my back a LOT.<BR/><BR/>Or rather, G finally agreed to it... she'd known how for a really long time. But it was when she was ready and willing. <BR/><BR/>Sending good thoughts and lots of hugs your way for good news about your mother in law.Karen MEGhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10834425321020756655noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-53253426376644373672009-01-18T19:16:00.000-05:002009-01-18T19:16:00.000-05:00Potty Training..oh..I must say..we did that during...Potty Training..oh..I must say..we did that during the summer with the first one and with Luke I am not sure when ..ugh..but I have faith in you :) he will do it and you will smile and say "FINALLY"..we tried positive reinforcers..like candy etc..and did not wear pull ups..:)Brandiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14794970270039158259noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-40298441394574724712009-01-18T18:45:00.000-05:002009-01-18T18:45:00.000-05:00Potty Training book saved my Sanity!! ____________...Potty Training book saved my Sanity!! <BR/>________________________________________<BR/>Men’s Health Magazine (Sept. issue) recommends Potty Train Your Child in Just One Day: Proven Secrets of the Potty Pro by Teri Crane. My husband picked us up a copy after reading the article. IT REALLY WORKS!! <BR/><BR/>Everyone is talking about throwing a "potty party" to potty train a child. I was so desperate; I was willing to do anything. Her book outlines 10 themed parties. What kid doesn't love to play and pretend? All my mommy friends have successfully potty trained their kids with her book too.<BR/><BR/>Honestly, when I first learned of this book, I thought NO WAY! Maybe this would work on a little girl, but NOT a BOSSY, 2-1/2 year old BOY. NO WAY! Guess what? It REALLY WORKED!!! Teri Crane SAVED MY SANITY!!! Her book was easy to read, funny and extremely helpful. I can't thank Teri enough. I would HIGHLY recommend this book to EVERY parent. It will save you much grief and frustration. Potty training shouldn't be difficult, we as parents make it difficult because we don't know what to do. Teri teaches you. Buy the book, it's the best money you will ever spend<BR/><BR/>Most amazingly, I had some questions, so I called the author, and she CALLED ME BACK!!Gwyneth Paltrowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12943746893256776277noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-17241122446393211382009-01-18T17:13:00.000-05:002009-01-18T17:13:00.000-05:00One day he'll say - no more diapers mama, and he w...One day he'll say - no more diapers mama, and he won't look back. I'm convinced it has absolutely nothing to do with how much or how little effort we put into potty training. When he's ready, he'll be ready.<BR/><BR/>PS - you absolutely are not a failure!Janice @ Mom On The Runhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13311920958711176636noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-7269019607828635482009-01-18T15:44:00.000-05:002009-01-18T15:44:00.000-05:00Don't force it hon, that isn't shitty parenting, i...Don't force it hon, that isn't shitty parenting, if he isn't ready, he isn't ready, but one day he will be. I encouraged and cajoled my daughter to sit on the potty for a whole summer, and I cleaned up an awful lot of poopy big-girl underwear. Then one day she announced, "I'm a big girl, mummy. I don't need diapees anymore. I'm wearing underwear to school." (Preschool!) I bit my fingernails the whole day at work, but that was it, she was trained. But she still wears pull-ups at night, and she's just turned 5, but she's never been dry in the morning, and she screams bloody murder if we try to get her up in the night to pee, and it's just not a fight I'm willing to have. Graham will get there too, and worrying about when is normal, but if the potty is there, he'll eventually use it. You're a fabulous mom, stop beating yourself up!Badness Joneshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05660823596302637985noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-53149929931352962222009-01-18T15:31:00.000-05:002009-01-18T15:31:00.000-05:00Wow!! You have gotten so many great comments, I am...Wow!! You have gotten so many great comments, I am not even sure what to say:) I just wanted to tell you that you are doing a wonderful job, and don't be too hard on yourself. The hoidays seems like a hard time to start too, because of all of the craziness. Bradley just turned two, he sits on the potty every night before bath, but has NEVER done anything on it. We have an open family room and the other night he came out to talk to me in the family from upstairs and peed right in the hallway. hilarious, but also kind of sad. he totally doesn't get it, and doesn't seem to care. in the mean time i will just keep cleaning up yucky diapers and know that it will end sometime...hugs to you! ClareClarehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02425608955769498145noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-60908465303080330462009-01-18T14:51:00.000-05:002009-01-18T14:51:00.000-05:00My feeling is, if it's not working right now, back...My feeling is, if it's not working right now, back off a bit rather than make it a big power struggle which no one wins. <BR/><BR/>That goes double if there are other stresses at the same time - all of you can only take so much. he'll get there. meanwhile, read the books about it now and then and offer on occasion, leave the potty out so he gets used to it just being around without being a bone of contention, and he may just get interested some day with the pressure off, especially if he has friends who do it. When he does, be thrilled, and he may not do it again for a while, but it's a start. <BR/><BR/>you're doing fine. (And everyone says boys take longer, so there's that, too.)kittenpiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05215443551546036909noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-15170221896089344532009-01-18T14:10:00.001-05:002009-01-18T14:10:00.001-05:00It is hard to not take things like this personally...It is hard to not take things like this personally. But, as people have mentioned, it only works when the kids are ready. I had one that was super easy. One that was REALLY hard. And one that was in the middle. And I was the same parent with all three. Hang in there, you have a lot going on right now.InTheFastLanehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09691830067979224059noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-6972376612461084062009-01-18T14:10:00.000-05:002009-01-18T14:10:00.000-05:00I'm sure someone said this, but because I am despe...I'm sure someone said this, but because I am desperate to get my own thoughts down before I forget them, I can't go back and read all the brilliant comments. <BR/><BR/>I am CERTAIN that with all the awesome things you will do as a parent, all your genius parenting decisions, your profound parenting wisdom, this will soon be a distant memory. <BR/><BR/>I mean, it is potty training. Seriously, he's on his way to being an easy going, lovable, understanding and brilliant kid! With a great mom (I've read the posts, seen/read the evidence). I'm thinking TV and a little junk food and Disney imprinted diapers won't do a thing to undermine the utter love and devotion you have for him. <BR/><BR/>Oh, and BTW, I've never, ever, ever seen a kid wearing a diaper to his prom. Or his graduation. Or his wedding . . . so, you'll always have that :)Laskihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12001998549713092381noreply@blogger.com