tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post3814750024168502540..comments2024-01-30T12:13:22.632-05:00Comments on Don Mills Diva: The emergence of the Mean MommyDon Mills Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03733674458423525738noreply@blogger.comBlogger33125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-88172065390070639462009-04-14T22:51:00.000-04:002009-04-14T22:51:00.000-04:00Great post! I just blogged today about how I have ...Great post! I just blogged today about how I have an impossibly hard time saying no to my kids.Loukiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03066879990007701379noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-5252540162871944832009-04-14T21:12:00.000-04:002009-04-14T21:12:00.000-04:00Better late than never ;)Better late than never ;)Jainahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05666481569069955190noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-65909912376277040222009-04-10T22:59:00.000-04:002009-04-10T22:59:00.000-04:00I'm all about rules and routines. I guess I've al...I'm all about rules and routines. I guess I've always been a Mean Mommy. But I do really think that kids like boundaries, no matter how hard it is to set them.Run ANChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06088821030860597465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-29246407461485046612009-04-10T20:45:00.000-04:002009-04-10T20:45:00.000-04:00Many congratulations, mean mommy. I'm going to fo...Many congratulations, mean mommy. I'm going to forward this post to my husband. We are both (more me I suppose) sick to death of the way our son has us wrapped around his little finger where bedtime and videos are concerned. Sometimes I worry because I realize that my fear of his reaction and a desire to avoid his tantrums has led me to be more lenient than I think is right or reasonable. <BR/><BR/>Last summer we traveled and our boy was a f'ing nightmare to put to bed. We will not be traveling again this summer and maybe not ever again until there is no such thing as bedtime. Because this was hell. And when we got back home, we put our foot down. We told him the rules. Well, how did he deal with them? He didn't. With threats of a closed door or a turned-off hall light, he simply screamed and screamed and woke up his sister for several nights in a row. We told him if he continued screaming, he'd get a spanking. He got the spanking and continued screaming. We threatened another spanking. He screamed more and didn't seem to even feel the second spanking. My husband got to a fourth spanking without our son's even blinking an eye. We were ourselves exhausted and crying and full of guilt. We swore we would never lay a hand on our son again, and I went to a counselor for help on how to get him to accept bedtime (and don't get me wrong, we are and always have been a household committed to a consistent bedtime routine). After months of work, the best we've been able to arrive at is an incredibly elaborate bedtime ritual which is the bane of my existence. No question, my son has the upper hand. I FEEL SO manipulated, angry and resentful. When we leave the room at night, it doesn't end. He's still coming out periodically (around four more times, down from over 20) before he falls asleep two hours after his bedtime (at 10 pm). And he has us so cowed, we don't even require that he stay in his bed after lights out. He plays and plays and plays until he's tired out.<BR/><BR/>It is wrong. To hear of your resolve fills me with resolution, but I am terrified. Our son is so completely insanely frighteningly stubborn, I simply don't know what to do. But it is time. TIME TO BE MEAN.dogwooddiaristhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14620645607630640331noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-56197604336134439042009-04-09T10:53:00.000-04:002009-04-09T10:53:00.000-04:00I've always been the tough one. I think it's also ...I've always been the tough one. I think it's also because I have three, I don't have time to not be tough as we just have to get things done at times. Good for you for toughing up your act, I see a lot of only kids who think the world revolves around them...that's all they know. Poor babies, so it's better to learn young with a loving parent then in the playground... so, good for you.Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15592530066607069238noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-33526399033432110182009-04-07T12:29:00.000-04:002009-04-07T12:29:00.000-04:00Awesome-tastic post! THAT kid never gets invited ...Awesome-tastic post! <BR/><BR/>THAT kid never gets invited to birthday parties, never gets a good job bc no one wants to work w. a prima dona, and never gets married bc he's a pain in the ass, <BR/><BR/>THAT kid ends up w. a sucky life.Parent Clubhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06473048540475693889noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-29341274568242863242009-04-06T08:02:00.000-04:002009-04-06T08:02:00.000-04:00I was slow to learn this as well, mainly because (...I was slow to learn this as well, mainly because (besides the rising bp when my child cries) she is so very good-natured most of the time. My vision of my child sometimes clouded my acceptance of her actual behaviour. Once I clued in, I realized that it was also not as difficult to discipline a toddler as I had thought. Who knew that on the odd occasion I actually put her in a time-out, that she would actually stay there? <BR/><BR/>I guess if my child is going to take me seriously as an authority figure, I should too.karengreenershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02488069680575426742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-27215525261087779822009-04-06T00:44:00.000-04:002009-04-06T00:44:00.000-04:00Being the mean mom gets easier, I promise. You'll ...Being the mean mom gets easier, I promise. You'll be great at it by the time it gets really fun. You know, when they are whining about homework, chores, and rolling their eyes at you and you can see it even when their back is turned. I love being the mean one! (Someone has to be, right?)I can't find my bloghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02613321200230079978noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-41698750618001855762009-04-05T21:41:00.000-04:002009-04-05T21:41:00.000-04:00Good for you!My two sleep in the same room and eve...Good for you!<BR/><BR/>My two sleep in the same room and every night before we close the door Josh or I say, "What are the rules?" And they say, "No talking or getting out of bed!" If we forget to ask, they call us on it. LOL.Kylahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03311014761113076785noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-76621418310651071872009-04-05T13:42:00.000-04:002009-04-05T13:42:00.000-04:00This makes my mean-mommy for 20 years heart sing. ...This makes my mean-mommy for 20 years heart sing. It is the way and the light! Spread the word.Jenn @ Juggling Lifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14455967210924573398noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-6618260363651555262009-04-04T20:34:00.000-04:002009-04-04T20:34:00.000-04:00I could kiss you right now!! LOL!Kids need and wa...I could kiss you right now!! LOL!<BR/><BR/>Kids need and want limits. They may not think they do, but it's true. You are doing a hell of a job. I'm currently in the same boat...but I don't want to be the mom of THAT kid, either. The whining and balking sucks, but eventually it stops or levels off to a tolerable level. <BR/><BR/>You go, Mama!Mandyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07836804230239409478noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-50885918547576913612009-04-04T14:45:00.000-04:002009-04-04T14:45:00.000-04:00GOOD. FOR. YOU.I'm proud of you! :) Stay strong: i...GOOD. FOR. YOU.<BR/><BR/>I'm proud of you! :) Stay strong: it will ALL be worth it when you have people telling you what a well-behaved and polite young man you've raised.Melisa Wellshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14252498482861679154noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-64571218813437475162009-04-04T14:01:00.000-04:002009-04-04T14:01:00.000-04:00I too have marveled at how much kids teach us abou...I too have marveled at how much kids teach us about ourselves. My daughter is 9 years old now, and has recently developed the habit of complaining excessively, and I realized last week that I need to clamp down on that. We homeschool, and one of the things she has to do is write out all the spelling words she doesn’t know three times for practice. She only missed one word this week, but after writing it out, she complained about it, so I made her write it three more times. But then, she complained about it again, so I made her do it three more times. A minute later, she started laughing and said, “Mom, just in case I forget and complain again, I went ahead and wrote it three extra times.”Clarissa Alversonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08598281831881042169noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-75517122769423669952009-04-04T13:03:00.000-04:002009-04-04T13:03:00.000-04:00congratulations on figuring out the first and seco...congratulations on figuring out the first and second rules of parenting:<BR/><BR/>1) you're the boss<BR/><BR/>2) kids crave limits and boundaries and when they don't have them, they will push and push until they find them. or don't.<BR/><BR/>go get em! graham will thank you for it.the planet of janethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11444337511603560544noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-34871264207937802722009-04-04T11:28:00.000-04:002009-04-04T11:28:00.000-04:00That can be a difficult spot in which to find your...That can be a difficult spot in which to find yourself. Congratulations on making positive change. <BR/><BR/>For me, having a second kid cemented the rules even more.Mandyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14586323120994967027noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-28954924709582493312009-04-04T03:44:00.000-04:002009-04-04T03:44:00.000-04:00Some lessons are more expensive than others and I ...Some lessons are more expensive than others and I can't even begin to tell you how utterly thankful I have been over what my Mom taught me when my son was a mere 2 months old.<BR/>Mary Alice at "From the Frontlines" posted this for me the first time in her tribute to Mothers last May - I think it's time to post it again. Maybe someone else can benefit from my Mom's advise.<BR/>http://fireweedroots.wordpress.com/Allmyckehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03618880904953965190noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-87145195176685768462009-04-04T00:01:00.000-04:002009-04-04T00:01:00.000-04:00"My approach to discipline these days sounds less ..."My approach to discipline these days sounds less like 'He's-so-cute-and-I-love-him-so-much-that-I-can't-stand-to-see-him-upset!' and more like 'I've-had-enough-of-your nonsense-and-it-will-stop-this-instant-or-there-will-be-consequences!'" I am approaching this point for sure! This week, we had a rather bratty meltdown in Target. I felt like I had "that kid." You're right, though -- kids need rules and do so much better with them. Tonight when Fly refused to sit at the table and eat, he simply went without dinner. I'm sure he'll be hungry come breakfast!Damselflyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00139191935886860839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-45252363904215558862009-04-03T23:57:00.000-04:002009-04-03T23:57:00.000-04:00It's a wild ride. I like your line about being ki...It's a wild ride. I like your line about being kind and respectful. Any kid that receives that will become that!Jannie Funsterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11595786402510366043noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-36159612764741937912009-04-03T22:57:00.000-04:002009-04-03T22:57:00.000-04:00I'm a mean mommy too, and I'm proud of that. I tot...I'm a mean mommy too, and I'm proud of that. I totally believe kids need boundaries. Some experts say kids become really scared when they sense they have too much power.Vered https://www.blogger.com/profile/09453358346751699999noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-19217109719180574952009-04-03T22:31:00.000-04:002009-04-03T22:31:00.000-04:00Most of the kids I see that are heading towards sp...Most of the kids I see that are heading towards spoilt-rotten are the ones where the parents try too hard to be their child's *friend* and not the parent.<BR/><BR/>I absolutely agree. Kids like structure, and structure doesn't mean there is no room for extra hugs and giggles and soft stuff. It just means they know what to expect.<BR/><BR/>(Good on you, K!)Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17308665452575511461noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-25784300547362607512009-04-03T21:51:00.000-04:002009-04-03T21:51:00.000-04:00Being a mommy is hard work. I am a big fan of rul...Being a mommy is hard work. I am a big fan of rules. I read somewhere that kids with rules/schedules are generally much more pleasant since they understand that there is a pattern. It's comforting.<BR/><BR/>But then again, I am WAY more lax w/the 3rd.OHmommyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12712111068636100187noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-81708350923959553662009-04-03T21:02:00.000-04:002009-04-03T21:02:00.000-04:00Parenting's gotta be the hardest job there is. I c...Parenting's gotta be the hardest job there is. I can barely stand it when I set down the rules and my child is sobbing. My heart rips. But you know, in the end, it's all for the good. I think...Mary@Holy Mackerelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04026873878364041551noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-78091153019027072042009-04-03T20:37:00.000-04:002009-04-03T20:37:00.000-04:00I have found the hardest part of being Mean Mommy ...I have found the hardest part of being Mean Mommy is sticking to it for the long haul. When the behavioral issues go away I have a tendency to go lax again. Then the problem start all over again.Ellynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08907807448468020160noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-89503483227353742512009-04-03T16:37:00.000-04:002009-04-03T16:37:00.000-04:00Sometimes I feel two faced, but I have gotten that...Sometimes I feel two faced, but I have gotten that way with Henry and I need to be more that way with Sam. Though Sam is still learning the no-whining and throwing fits bit, and Henry KNOWS that I don't put up with it. I know the difference between the whiny cry and the real tears and am sesitive to those... but I don't have the patience to put up with the whiny crying stuff for very long! Don't feel bad.. that is how kids learn!Bird's Eye View Photographyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08813489889625737678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454432385331536006.post-17500360558363211462009-04-03T16:30:00.000-04:002009-04-03T16:30:00.000-04:00You go girl! I've been weakening recently, but nee...You go girl! I've been weakening recently, but need to get strict again!CChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01537821831479150677noreply@blogger.com